I disagree with the statement that a person should never decide an important thing by theirselves because every single person need to be an independent in the society someday and also people in the same community or group should support each other with their respects. I support my opinion with three following reasons.
First of all, today I am a student and rely on my friends, family and teachers. For example, I do not really need to care about living costs or the money for personal life. I live with my family so my mother serves us every dinner and I could make a small money through part time job for my trips and hobbies. However, once I graduate, I am supposed to manage my lives by myself and all responsibilities are mine. I would not be able to feel being protected by someone thus I state that we need to be a responsible to our own life.
Second, even if I make a mistake, I could not blame anyone. For instant, I studied in Finland as exchange student because I always was eager to study abroad. However, my family did not try to understand my thoughts because it was not common in the back days among young people. Moreover, if I study abroad, I needed to extend my study one more year so they were afraid of not getting job offer after coming back. It does make sense but I decided by myself to go there because I do not like having regrets without trying. In addition, I accomplished my experience and my family approved so I think it was worth to do it.
Third, for future success, I am sure that a person would have confidence which is attributed to own decision. Every time, I make a decision by myself, I feel great after that. I feel that I am proving myself in the public, loving myself as much as I could and Knowing myself really well. For my personal experience, I was in San Francisco for internship however I did not like being there because of safety reason. At first, I putted so much effort to focus on my work however I was interrupted by the unsafe society and I began to be depressed. At the end, I decided to shorten my stay and come back to home. Even I could not get done with my internship, I feel that I learned so much things and figured out what I like, what I care in my life and how to treat myself well. Hence, the important decision I made alone was totally right for me.
All of considered, I would think that a person should make their mind up alone and listen to their heart more.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'small money'.
Suggestion: small money
...serves us every dinner and I could make a small money through part time job for my trips and ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 271, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... and I could make a small money through part time job for my trips and hobbies. However, ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 125, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[5]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'was'.
Suggestion: was always
...n Finland as exchange student because I always was eager to study abroad. However, my fami...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... a person would have confidence which is attributed to own decision. Every time, ...
^^
Line 7, column 683, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...my internship, I feel that I learned so much things and figured out what I like, wha...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, moreover, really, second, so, third, thus, well, as to, for example, i feel, i think, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 82.0 43.0788530466 190% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1984.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 459.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.32244008715 4.8611393121 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46192762198 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503267973856 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 649.8 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6018196271 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1818181818 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8636363636 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.77272727273 5.45110844103 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14335031299 0.236089414692 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0441401940475 0.076458572812 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0616153359433 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105725392624 0.150856017488 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0936703497747 0.0645574589148 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.78 10.9000537634 71% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.11 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.