Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

Money always plays a vital role in our daily life for various reasons. People must be careful when using money, especially children. Some people conceive that it's plausible to let children manage their use of money to help them to take control of money when they become adults. However, I thoroughly oppose this notion for several reasons.
To begin with, children easily waste money because of their awareness of the value of money. It's true that children actually don't earn money but their parents. Therefore, it's hard for them to realize how arduous to make money from the outside world. They are inclined to spend it as much as they have, for everything they desire to own. For example, my parents once let me own the number of money and required me to spend it by myself. Everything was really stable for the first time because I clearly indicated what to buy. However, I became overused money when the notion " I own loads of money, just buy it, nothing goes wrong". As a result, I spent nearly 100 dollars within a week which shocked me. Thus, my parents shouldn't give me a chance to take control of money because everything will be a disaster.
In addition to this awareness, youngsters will make regretful decisions when owning money. Specifically, money may overshadow the importance of study when youngsters are still at school. With the same situation as mine, my brother purchased plenty of cards to play game and toys instead of books or salutary documents. This leads to a bad result that he completely deviated from his study. Since he just focused on spending money on games, his study performance deteriorated rapidly. At the time my parents discovered this issue, things went far then they anticipated.
To sum up, parents should let their children use money in the way they want because of their awareness of the value of money and wrong choices. As youngsters growing up, they will be mature enough to handle their use of money.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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2019-09-24 Mostafa93106325 76 view
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Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ppose this notion for several reasons. To begin with, children easily waste mon...
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Line 2, column 130, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... money. Its true that children actually dont earn money but their parents. Therefore...
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Line 2, column 736, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...week which shocked me. Thus, my parents shouldnt give me a chance to take control of mon...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...because everything will be a disaster. In addition to this awareness, youngster...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...things went far then they anticipated. To sum up, parents should let their chil...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, if, may, really, so, still, then, therefore, thus, for example, in addition, as a result, to begin with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1627.0 1977.66487455 82% => OK
No of words: 338.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81360946746 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28774723029 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47716541983 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.568047337278 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 509.4 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 23.7839863046 48.9658058833 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 77.4761904762 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0952380952 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.90476190476 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.191559669626 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0613305309711 0.076458572812 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0570679734173 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127028481392 0.150856017488 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0264525714817 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.