Tv programs, movies and video games are part of our daily life. We spent several hours for watching them. Although this is a contoversial issue, but if it comes to me i agreed that TV programs and other video games influence young people's behavior, and the following discussions revels my view.
First of all, many young people spent several hours for watching TV, and playing video games, so diffenetly it will affect their behavior, my son is watching a program which is learning them how to play a video game. He takes their way in talking, i heard him when he was talking to his brother, the program really changes his manner in speech.
Second, when i was younger i had been watched a series for 30 days, during the day i was trying to behave just like the favorite an actress in this series, same walking , eating, speaking and it lasts for several days after the end.
Last but not least, behavior of young people is flexible and it affects easly with everything , sometimes by a friend, a teacher, or those programs, evn it was good or bad influence, Michel Jachson was the famous singer, a lot of people did their style, and they were dancing like him. I remembered when i was young and there was a party in our school, i thought we had a lot of michel jackson in our school, oh my god it was assume , this singer affects on several people.
In conclusion, TV programs, movies, video games influence on young people behavior in different ways, because they affect on their emotions, thinking. And i agreed with that because of the points mentioned above. But always the parents should watch their kids to get benifit from those programs because some people want to do what they watched whether it was good or not.
Although this is a contoversial issue, but if it comes to me
Description: don't put 'although' 'but' in one sentence.
a program which is learning them how to play a video game.
a program which is teaching them how to play a video game.
just like the favorite an actress
just like the favorite actress
Sentence: I remembered when i was young and there was a party in our school, i thought we had a lot of michel jackson in our school, oh my god it was assume , this singer affects on several people.
Description: The token was is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to was and assume
Sentence: In conclusion, TV programs, movies, video games influence on young people behavior in different ways, because they affect on their emotions, thinking.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to games and influence
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and behavior
Sentence: Although this is a contoversial issue, but if it comes to me i agreed that TV programs and other video games influence young people's behavior, and the following discussions revels my view.
Error: contoversial Suggestion: controversial
Sentence: First of all, many young people spent several hours for watching TV, and playing video games, so diffenetly it will affect their behavior, my son is watching a program which is learning them how to play a video game.
Error: diffenetly Suggestion: differently
Sentence: Last but not least, behavior of young people is flexible and it affects easly with everything , sometimes by a friend, a teacher, or those programs, evn it was good or bad influence, Michel Jachson was the famous singer, a lot of people did their style, and they were dancing like him.
Error: easly Suggestion: easily
Error: evn Suggestion: even
Sentence: But always the parents should watch their kids to get benifit from those programs because some people want to do what they watched whether it was good or not.
Error: benifit Suggestion: benefit
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 168 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1367 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.424 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.261 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.688 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.387 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.681 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5