If you could change one important thing about your country what would you change Use reasons and specific examples to support your answers

Essay topics:

If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answers.

Many people oppose change, yet that change makes the difference. Like people, many countries need to make appropriate changes in their default system and facilities. Having said that roads are immensely imperative facility in any country and affect day to day business of their citizens and trade & commerce of nation hence it is essential to have smooth roads. If given a chance I would like to change road facility of my country India so that habitat of my nations would not require to go through inconvenient road travel and to reduce road accident frequency.

Firstly, Due to poor road condition people have to bear lot of trouble while travelling through the roads despite having luxurious transportation mean. These poor road not only effect traveler but also their expensive vehicles. Also, elderly people worries of back ache when it comes to road travel. For an instance – one of my friends father was travelling to city named khambhat with his mother to attend a wedding. But the roads to the city was in such terrible condition that on every speed break his car’s bumper hits the speed breaker and that was giving hard jolts to aged lady. Due to this jolts she suffered bad back ache and rather than attending wedding they had to rush to see doctor first. Adding to that this, trip cost them thousands of rupee for car’s bumper repair, doctor visit and wedding expense. Roads and luxuries cars are for humans comfort and not for tolerating uncomfortable tours to invite more expense therefore my country desperately need to upgrades its road facility.

Secondly, Out of 10 accident, 6 are happening due to poor road condition. In this scenario, citizen are having valid papers for cars but not appropriate and secure roads to drive their vehicles. Specifically in Northern Indian, people have to ignore driving because of low visibility due to winter mist. Adding to that, snow spoil the road condition and no provision are made to remove the snow on time to facilitate smooth travel for travelers. These factor contribute in accelerating the numbers of accidents happening due to poor roads as people have to drive on this road out of the choice to commute form one place to another. For an instance – Two years back people travelling to pilgrim named Pashupatinath had to suffered life threatening situation in winter and no help was provided to people for 2 days because of pitiable condition of roads. Also no roads transportation was possible as roads was damaged due to landslide. Nothing is more important than the life of any living being and government must take the responsibility that people of their country should not suffer life lose due to unreliable roads.

Luxurious means of transportation is of no use if basic necessity like roads are not in appropriate situation to use. Indian government must set budget to construct quality roads to improve transportation, trade and commerce, most importantly to save their citizens life and improve their living style.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (6 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

These poor road not only effect traveler
These poor road not only affect traveler

elderly people worries of back ache
elderly people worry of back ache

snow spoil the road condition and no provision are made to remove the snow
snow spoils the road condition and no provisions are made to remove the snow

Sentence: For an instance ? one of my friends father was travelling to city named khambhat with his mother to attend a wedding.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to friends and father

Sentence: For an instance ? Two years back people travelling to pilgrim named Pashupatinath had to suffered life threatening situation in winter and no help was provided to people for 2 days because of pitiable condition of roads.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and suffered

Sentence: Indian government must set budget to construct quality roads to improve transportation, trade and commerce, most importantly to save their citizens life and improve their living style.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to citizens and life

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 499 350
No. of Characters: 2445 1500
No. of Different Words: 251 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.726 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.609 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.682 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.132 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.461 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Sentence: For an instance ? Two years back people travelling to pilgrim named Pashupatinath had to suffered life threatening situation in winter and no help was provided to people for 2 days because of pitiable condition of roads.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and suffered.

Sir/Ma'am

I didnt understand the suggestion, what should i use in place of to to construct sentence?
can i construct them this way:-
can it be no aid was given to people for 2 days.
people travelling to pilgrim suffered life threatening situation.