If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

If I could get chance to change one important thing about my hometown then I will change the education system. I belongs to a small town in India. There are so many schools and coaching classes for study. students go to schools and pay large amount as their fees, but the education is not sufficient. they have to take personal classes to cover all syllabus. the problem is those who have good economic background they can get all this facilities and get education. but what about the lower economic background students. so I want to change the system used by schools. they have to take appropriate fees and provide good education to each and every student.
secondly I want to do some changes in working of municipal corporation's employees work. they are not aware about technology and work with their hands. due to their way of work the infection spared in their families which is very harmful.
I want to train them with modern technology and make their work easy and safe.
these are two important changes that i would like to do in my hometown.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
If I could get chance to change one impo...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If I could get chance to change one import...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 124, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'belong'
Suggestion: belong
...n I will change the education system. I belongs to a small town in India. There are so ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 216, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Students
...schools and coaching classes for study. students go to schools and pay large amount as t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 312, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...s, but the education is not sufficient. they have to take personal classes to cover ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 370, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...personal classes to cover all syllabus. the problem is those who have good economic...
^^^
Line 1, column 442, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...od economic background they can get all this facilities and get education. but what ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 477, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
... all this facilities and get education. but what about the lower economic backgroun...
^^^
Line 1, column 532, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...the lower economic background students. so I want to change the system used by sch...
^^
Line 1, column 580, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...t to change the system used by schools. they have to take appropriate fees and provi...
^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... education to each and every student. secondly I want to do some changes in w...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 11, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
... to each and every student. secondly I want to do some changes in working o...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 21, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd every student. secondly I want to do some changes in working of mu...
^^
Line 2, column 100, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
... municipal corporations employees work. they are not aware about technology and work...
^^^^
Line 2, column 163, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Due
...t technology and work with their hands. due to their way of work the infection spar...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ogy and make their work easy and safe. these are two important changes that i w...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 10, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: These
...ake their work easy and safe. these are two important changes that i would ...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 47, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... these are two important changes that i would like to do in my hometown.
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, second, secondly, so, then

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 43.0788530466 53% => OK
Preposition: 25.0 52.1666666667 48% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 867.0 1977.66487455 44% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 186.0 407.700716846 46% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.66129032258 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.69299088775 4.48103885553 82% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49019931167 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 112.0 212.727598566 53% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.602150537634 0.524837075471 115% => OK
syllable_count: 270.0 618.680645161 44% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 21.8660112727 48.9658058833 45% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 61.9285714286 100.406767564 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.2857142857 20.6045352989 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.5 5.45110844103 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.5376344086 325% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169390855746 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0604636781472 0.076458572812 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.09370419137 0.0737576698707 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.099854120566 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.080381791069 0.0645574589148 125% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.2 11.7677419355 61% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.74 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.86 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.34 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 36.0 86.8835125448 41% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.