It's a highly debated issue weather people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than doing things they should do or not, and this topic can be approached from different angles due to it's complexity. Some people tend to agree that, but others would disagree . deeply deliberating to the issue, personally , i disagreed that, people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than doing things they should do. The following discussion reveals my view.
First of all,the first exquisite point to be mentioned is that, with the fast changing world, and with investments of technology, everything is changed, the way that can be reached to satisfy the person needs has changed. It becomes easily to do a lot of duties by the smart phone, like talking to the manager and send him an important staff that he needs in a moments, but this doesn't mean the person spend much time on enjoyment due to using his phone. Conversely i feel these technological staff have been increasing the person duties.
Second, i believe that, the life goes faster than the life before, in other word, I think the time for joy and relaxing becomes too short. For example 10 years ago , i was spending too much time in swimming pool, furthermore, i had enough time to join my friend's party, conversely today i can't do anything for my personal enjoyment, i have a lot of works to do in my job, in addition to that in home.
Third,this reason deserves some word, the life today becomes so expensive , and people today try their best to get extra money by working over time, or they have extra job, in order to pay all of their bills, rent and their kid's school and so forth. So with such difficult life no more extra time for doing personal things.
All in all, based on the arguments explored above, i firmly concur that, people today are not spending too much time on personal enjoyment. Indeed , they are busy today with an important thing because , it's worthwhile and specious for their life.
like talking to the manager and send him an important staff that he needs in a moments
like talking to the manager and sending him an important staff that he needs in a moment
have been increasing the person duties.
have been increasing the person's duties.
So with such difficult life no more extra time for doing personal things.
So with such difficult life there are no more extra time for doing personal things.
flaws:
The first reason is off the topic.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1595 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.518 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.326 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.614 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.678 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5