Independent writing TPO 51

By and large, it is established beyound doubt that media play a prominent role in all societies. Regarding this issue, some people hold the view that movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. However, some other’s taken an opposite viewpoint and look at this concept through different lens. From my vantage point, the former belief is true. In the following paragraph I will delve into two important reasons.
The first focal point that prompts me to hold this idea is that, young people by watching tv and movies, learn bad habites. When young people learn bad habits, it effects their behavier. For example, tv is bombord by fast food advertising. Young people by watching these adverties, they have more tendency to eat fast food. I can remember when I was young, the first moment I saw King burger advertis I search in internet to find the nearest branch, which was so far from my home. From that day I eat king burger for 5 years and this really harm my healthy life. Another bad habits young people learn from movies is violent. I would like to mention a result of research that was counducted last year in my country about movies janr. The result was horrible, it shows that a majority of movies that shown last year in tv, had violent concept. It was also reveals that crimes have been increased compare to last year.
Another salient point in corroborating my stance is this, watching Tv is pure wast of time. Because you spend many hours watching Tv and what you gain is nothing campare to spend these hours reading books. For example, me myself spend 5 hours in my free time every day watching Tv for 6 years. Once I realized that during these year I learn nothing from Tv that help me in my life. So I promised to myself that I watch tv just 1 hour and rest of my free reading a psychological book. After 1 year, my life changed in a way that I could not believed. I became more responssible and happier person.
In conclusin, this my deep belief that television and movie’s negative effects on young people are more weight than positive’s one. Learning bad habits and pure wast of time are some reasons that make me inclined toward this opinion. However, it was a story in a nutshull; actually there are some more reasonable grund that can lend weight to my viewpoint. It is highly recommended that a survey be conducted in order to shed light on other aspects of this issue.

Votes
Average: 0.7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 243, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ks. For example, me myself spend 5 hours in my free time every day watching Tv fo...
^^
Line 3, column 296, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Once” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...time every day watching Tv for 6 years. Once I realized that during these year I lea...
^^^^
Line 3, column 324, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this year' or 'these years'?
Suggestion: this year; these years
...or 6 years. Once I realized that during these year I learn nothing from Tv that help me in...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 542, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'believe'
Suggestion: believe
... life changed in a way that I could not believed. I became more responssible and happier...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, however, if, look, really, regarding, so, for example, by and large

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2031.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 439.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62642369021 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47014542117 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521640091116 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 603.9 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.7755161323 48.9658058833 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.1153846154 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8846153846 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.46153846154 5.45110844103 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 11.7677419355 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.