Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them

I agree that playing games on the computer is a waste of time. Because by doing this, children can have problems with their studies and also can affect their health.

First of all, children need to spend all the time and focus available doing something important to him. When a kid starts to play a computer game for sure they will stop to study, for example, to have more time to spend on the computer. My son, Felipe, he is 3 years old and he is on a moment that he needs to learn to read and to write. 1 month ago, I taught him to play a game on my computer, a silly game, but he became too addicted to this game. After this, I have started to observe his behavior and realized that he stopped to increase his writing and reading skills. I figured out that he stopped to practice at the home and put his focus and time only in playing this game on my computer. Doing that exchange, between practice the abilities that he needs to study, to play games on a computer, he got worse in the school. After this, I fixed this problem putting a password on all the computers in our house and he got back to put his focus and time to study.

In addition, if a child playing games on a computer this will affect their health. They can create some problem with their eyes or about weight. the monitor light is very bad for the vision and some children can forget to eat or drink when they are playing games on the computer. My daughter, Maria Clara, she is 5 years old, always had a perfect vision and her friend from our neighboorhood told her to download a game in our house computer. The game was about a dol and she needed to help this dol to eat and play, this kind of thing. She spent hours per day in this game and after 2 weeks she felt some headaches inexplicable. I went to a doctor and he said this happened because of the light of computer monitors affect her eyes, and she will need to stop to use the computer.

In conclusion, children don't have the conscious that how many time they can spend playing a game on the computer and this will affect their education and health.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es and also can affect their health. First off all, children need to spend al...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to put his focus and time to study. In addition, if a child playing games in...
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Line 5, column 150, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...roblem with their eyes or about weight. the monitor light is very bad for the visio...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll need to stop to use the computer. In conclusion, children dont have the co...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 31, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...puter. In conclusion, children dont have the conscious that how many time t...
^^^^
Line 7, column 64, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: 'many times'.
Suggestion: many times
...ildren dont have the conscious that how many time they can spend playing a game on the co...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, for example, in addition, in conclusion, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1690.0 1977.66487455 85% => OK
No of words: 399.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.23558897243 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.22199074177 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.448621553885 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 513.0 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.0780664869 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.8888888889 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1666666667 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11111111111 5.45110844103 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.260775582036 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107968988521 0.076458572812 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0876677052959 0.0737576698707 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188902915126 0.150856017488 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0340966406769 0.0645574589148 53% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.53 58.1214874552 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.31 10.9000537634 67% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.67 8.01818996416 83% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 86.8835125448 56% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.