PO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam
Without a shadow of the doubt celebrities play a vital role in society. Their opinions, their behavior and their actions can lead to both bad and good situations in community. Many people contend that the opinions of celebrities are more important to young people, while others asserts their opinions are more important to older people. Both of the opposing arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to point. However, my personal experience and actual observation of life have led me to agree that their opinions are more important to younger people. In the ensuing lines, I delve into my reasons to substantiate my point.
The first and possibly the paramount reason is that celebrities such as singers, actors and athletes most of the time are in the same age of the younger people. So, celebrities and young people have a lot of things in common. Their inerests in following a certain fashion, eating in certain restaurants, wearing some new-brand clothes and other things are many of these comon things. Also, celebrities have many fans and their beliefs, interest and opinions are important to their fans. Furthermore, their fans are young people rather than older people. As aresult, their opinions are very important to their fans. If they have a certain idea about an event their follower will have the same idea.
Another point springing to mind is that older people are more wise compared to young people. So, they prefer to think about different things and obtain information from valid resources like books instead of accepting the celebrities idea. In contrast, young people do not have enough experience and they like to imitate behavior and opinion of celebrities. In addition of lacking experience, having access to celebrities is another factor that is a key factor in this matter. Most of the famous celebrities have Instagram page and they answer to their followers' questions. In this way, people can see their answers and they can have the same attitude. For example, in my country, Iran, Golzar is a very famous actor and people die because of him. People and especially young girls are crazy about him. They always ask their questions about different thing from him in his page in the social media and if he approves something his followers will have the same idea. As a result, celebrities opinios can be very influential in young people's ideas.
To sum it all up, it is easy to see why younger people tend to accept the ideas of celebrities. They are lack of experience, they are at the same age of the celbrities and their access to celberities are causes taht celebrities opinions are more important to younger people. I hope somaday, people can follow the opinions that benefit them. Accepting good opinions not only assists people to have convenient life but also creats a good opportunity to widen their horizon. The more people understand, the less they know. In this way, they can be successful and also happy in their lives.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 615, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nions are very important to their fans. If they have a certain idea about an event...
Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
... mind is that older people are more wise compared to young people. So, they prefe...
Line 3, column 222, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...ces like books instead of accepting the celebrities idea. In contrast, young people do not ...
Line 3, column 361, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
...behavior and opinion of celebrities. In addition of lacking experience, having access to...
Line 3, column 489, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
... key factor in this matter. Most of the famous celebrities have Instagram page and they answer to ...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, so, while, for example, in addition, in contrast, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2471.0 1977.66487455 125% => OK
No of words: 501.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93213572854 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73107062784 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57843288495 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.449101796407 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 779.4 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.2420817303 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.2068965517 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.275862069 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.93103448276 5.45110844103 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216301877508 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0713266625905 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0592142599883 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15647513553 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0267051666459 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.