Many researchers have proved the benefits of having art or music lessons. Personally, I strongly believe learning art or music is beneficial. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will further explore in the following essay.
First of all, recent research conducted by one of the most famous research centers suggests that music stimulates the brain associated with academic performance. According to the research, students who have taken music lessons performed 15% better than those who have never taken music lessons. My cousin, Jason’s experience is a compelling example of this. When he was young, his parents insisted on taking music lessons. While in elementary schools, he outshines most of his classmates. He always ranked first in his school until high school years. He is currently accepted to the best university in my country and everyone admires his achievement. In my opinion, if it had not been for the music training he went through in his childhood, he wouldn’t have had this outstanding performance.
Secondly, learning music can enhance social skills. Since music is an art that should be performed with a group of people, students can learn teamwork and how to relate to others. Recent studies suggest that more and more companies require employees with strong social skills such as communicating and interacting with colleagues and client. For instance, many of my co-workers took music classes in elementary or high schools; they can easily apply the communication skills learned while playing musical instruments. For the past few years, I had a really hard time keeping up with most of my colleagues because I am an introverted person and I was not as eloquent as they were. In contrast, my colleges are able to apply all of the communicating techniques naturally, especially when negotiating with our customers. Usually, the whole process goes on smoothly and our customers are very satisfied with our products and services. This example demonstrates that music does play an important part in enhancing social skills.
In conclusion, I believe that taking art or music classes are valuable. This is because art and music help students to achieve academic success and because they help young individuals to improve their communication skills tremendously.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...urther explore in the following essay. First of all, recent research conducted ...
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Line 5, column 725, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...contrast, my colleges are able to apply all of the communicating techniques naturally, esp...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, really, second, secondly, so, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in contrast, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1946.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28804347826 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91592167999 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5625 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 585.0 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.8462078829 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.6666666667 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5238095238 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.38095238095 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197635778675 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0645829039551 0.076458572812 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.073662365776 0.0737576698707 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134619898322 0.150856017488 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0356587029238 0.0645574589148 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.