Some lessons for young students （5~8 years old）increase their interest to learn by video games, but some people believe it will distract young students. Which idea do you prefer and why?
In today’s moddern world, there has been a controversial subject among people about the notion of which way is best for educating children. In this regard, some people are of the opinin that trainig children with videos gaims disturb students from learning. In contrast, I personally subscribe to the view that with these methods children will learn a variety of topics more efficiently. In the following paragraphs, my reasons will be elaborated on this issue in more detail.
To begin with, young children become more intrested in topicts with video gaims because they are attracted to play. Indeed, they are in a period of childhood which should not take serious matters. Generally speaking, when teachers want to teach young children they should consicder to the fact that children are not still developed sufficiently. they are self center, and can not recognize the importance of education. therefore, devices sucsh as video gaims or animation help them to underestand difficul topics whenever they are playing. For instance, my little brother is not able to focus on a subject more than ten miniutes. However, he interneted in video gaims and he dedicate most of this time to play. Had his teacher used the gaim for educte him, he could have learned much more subjects than now.
Another reason is that students with having fun can learn many things. Actually technoligies contribute to this notion and teachers should expolit it to take better results. In fact, young children should have intertainmants and technologies provids this situatuion for them. it is highly recommended that teachers use a variety of equipment which helpts them to teach children with fun and the interntainmen. As a case in point, an in-depth study sonducted by Harvard University indicates that children who used to learn course with technoloigies become more capable in their future life to be successful studnets. All in all, the more teachers use this apparatus to teach children, the more students become insigh into the subjects.
Drawing upon the reasons that I mentioned above, I believe that teachers should utilize all tools to teach children. Not only do they still kids and they tend to play, but also children want to have dun and teacher should use this situation to makes significant benefits .
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...opinin that trainig children with videos gaims disturb students from learning. In...
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Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... gaims disturb students from learning. In contrast, I personally subscribe to the...
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Line 1, column 390, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n a variety of topics more efficiently. In the following paragraphs, my reasons wi...
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Suggestion: They
...n are not still developed sufficiently. they are self center, and can not recognize ...
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Suggestion: Therefore
... recognize the importance of education. therefore, devices sucsh as video gaims or animat...
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Line 3, column 676, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'dedicates'.
Suggestion: dedicates
...er, he interneted in video gaims and he dedicate most of this time to play. Had his teac...
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...ogies provids this situatuion for them. it is highly recommended that teachers use...
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Line 7, column 141, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'kid'
Suggestion: kid
... teach children. Not only do they still kids and they tend to play, but also childre...
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Suggestion: .
... situation to makes significant benefits .
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, so, still, therefore, for instance, in contrast, in fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1930.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 376.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1329787234 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68116102065 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.553191489362 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 578.7 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.980619131 48.9658058833 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.5 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.137849606331 0.236089414692 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0456085060657 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0371963216624 0.0737576698707 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0884774995405 0.150856017488 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0436850461577 0.0645574589148 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.