Parents use different methods to encourage their children to study better at school. One of these ways is offering money for each high grade they get at school. While some people believe that it is not a good idea, I am of the opinion that it could help children to try harder and study more, further than it could help them to learn some beneficial skills. I feel this way because of some reasons which I will explain more in the following essay;
First of all, it is obvious that studying is a boring and tedious task that most children don't like to do and spend their time for that. If parents promise their children that whenever they get a good mark in school they would give them money, children would be more encouraged to study harder. In fact, by this means, students would have a purpose and a reason for trying harder, because they know that they would receive something in return of their hard working. Besides this, by this way, parents could learn their children how to set a goal for themselves and how to plan for reaching that goal, and in result they would find out if they try and use more beneficially of their time, they would get something in return.
Furthermore, as we know the ability of financially thinking is a significant skill that people should learn from their childhood. When parents give this chance to their children to get some money instead of their hard working, In fact, children have this opportunity to learn how to save and manage their money for buying something. For example, when I was 8 years old girl, I liked to have a pink bicycle. When I asked my parents to buy that bicycle for me, they said to me if I got good marks in my lessons, they would give me money and after that, I started to study better and I saved all my money and finally at the end of the second semester I had enough money to buy that bicycle. In fact, it was a good lesson for me, that whenever I gain some money, if I save them and do not waste them for small things, I could buy something better.
To draw my conclusion, according to the above reasons, students would be more encouraged to study harder, if they know they would get something instead of their good marks, further than they would learn how to set a goal for themselves and try hard for achieving that goal, and they would learn how to manage their money which is an important skill for their future.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 91, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ing and tedious task that most children dont like to do and spend their time for tha...
^^^^
Line 3, column 644, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...d in result they would find out if they try and use more beneficially of their time, th...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, finally, first, furthermore, if, second, so, while, for example, i feel, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 81.0 43.0788530466 188% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1955.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 442.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.42307692308 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.24378847492 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.418552036199 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 576.0 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 20.1344086022 169% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 82.8006088649 48.9658058833 169% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.384615385 100.406767564 150% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.0 20.6045352989 165% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.92307692308 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.362196327224 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.158186916427 0.076458572812 207% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0855145983282 0.0737576698707 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.244606832516 0.150856017488 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0689890430852 0.0645574589148 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.35 58.1214874552 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.95 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.22 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 86.8835125448 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 10.0537634409 155% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.