Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

The author claims that in some families parents consider the money as the reward for high grade in the school for their kids. This is the purpose with which I generally do concur. Among the countless reasons which give adherence to my viewpoint, I will list the most conspicuous ones in the following paragraphs.
 
The first striking reason which should be high lightened is the money as a reward works as a motivation factor. Indeed, the motivation or impetus is a crucial factor for persuading education in a constant pattern, since the contents of lessons in some stage are overwhelmed and frustrate the students. In this scenario, there is the possibility of missing the eagerness for study, and there should be a factor such as a reward to stimulate the students to focus on their studies. This fact is also verified by a noteworthy, intelligence study conducted in the Psychology Department of Tehran University in Iran. According to this research, receiving a reward for each high grade motivates students with approximate fifty-five percent to work harder during their education in comparison of students, who do not have this type of imputes. Money can be a decent option which gets this stimulation role during the study, as the parents specify the specific amount of money for their kids' marks, they will have a point as an imputes which drives them to worker harder. 
 
Another equally crucial reason which should be considered is that this reward helps the children to get familiar with finance. In fact, kids depend on their parents for financial issues, and their parents decide the money. However, as the kids are familiarized by the finance from their early ages, they get more independent and get some perspective about how to deal with the finance. A lucid example which shed the spotlight on this fact is my own experience. During my childhood, my parents gave me the amount of money as the weekly pocket money, with which I had to cover my whole personal expenses during the week. Besides, if I wished to purchase expensive stuff, I did not get raring from my parents, and I had to save my weekly money and shorten my minor expenses, to be able to save some money and buy my desired stuff. This experience during my childhood, helped me a lot, and now as I earn my own money, I so expert about financing and saving money.
 
However, there some people who believe that money can be a distractive factor and pushes kids to merely focus on getting high points in exams instead of learning the lessons. This group overlooks an important issue, that this reward, should not be based on the solo exam marks. Parents should consider the entire progress of education, to assure that the kids have enhanced in their educational status. In this case, the money will motivate kids to work harder instead of studying only for a high score.
 
To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons explicitly illustrate that the money as the reward for the student educational progress is a decent option to help the students to flourish in their education and get familiar with the finance.
 

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
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...uous ones in the following paragraphs.   The first striking reason which should b...
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...utes which drives them to worker harder.    Another equally crucial reason which sho...
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...pert about financing and saving money.   However, there some people who believe t...
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...ead of studying only for a high score.   To wrap it up, all the aforementioned re...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, however, if, look, so, in fact, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2581.0 1977.66487455 131% => OK
No of words: 536.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81529850746 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81161862636 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6129202586 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458955223881 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 802.8 618.680645161 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.4251251389 48.9658058833 138% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.05 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.8 20.6045352989 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.05 5.45110844103 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298817851394 0.236089414692 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100797202177 0.076458572812 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0770649889936 0.0737576698707 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177336184243 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0565776756751 0.0645574589148 88% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 86.8835125448 155% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.