Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Nowadays, with accessibility of a wide range of entertainments and computer games, one of the most important issues of concern that not only parents but also teachers are face with is the reduction of grades that students achieve and many parents would like to solve this problem using financial policy. Whether or not financial policy can solve the issue or even has any benefits is a matter of controversy. From my point of view, obligation to study harder with financial punishment not only is not beneficial but also has adverse consequences, my reasons are discussed as follows:
Firstly, as far as I know, children never favor something dictated to them via obligation. Using obligation policy may be successful in the short-term because students need some money and the only way to achieve it is studying harder and obtaining higher grades; however, over time they will get bored and ignore their families financial incentive. Therefore, students don’t have internal motivation to follow science because we never assisted them to appreciate knowledge, they never return back to the schools and science. So offering money to boost grades has nothing to provide except more harm.
Furthermore, one of the fundamental needs that has an immense effect in children’s characters is conditional love which means children want to be loved without any reasons and if parents pay money for improving grades, children will think that their grades are more important than themselves which is very harmful for their self-confidence and cause catastrophic consequences for them in long-term. Moreover, a lot of psychologists believe that the human’s character is formed in their childhood and depended on how their parents to behave them; therefore offering money for doing something and then using force and conditional love for not doing it can impact adversely on our next generation’s personality.
In conclusion, whether improving grades of students is significant but their characters are more important and we should not ignore children personalities because of increasing their grades. And we should solve this problem with adopting better policy such as scientific trips and interesting researches to motivate them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 305, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'Whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: Whether
...ve this problem using financial policy. Whether or not financial policy can solve the issue or...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 491, Rule ID: RETURN_BACK[1]
Message: Use simply 'return'.
Suggestion: return
...hem to appreciate knowledge, they never return back to the schools and science. So offering...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...resting researches to motivate them.
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'in conclusion', 'such as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.235294117647 0.229887763892 102% => OK
Verbs: 0.173913043478 0.158761421928 110% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0869565217391 0.0866891130778 100% => OK
Adverbs: 0.076726342711 0.046263068375 166% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0613810741688 0.0685040099705 90% => OK
Prepositions: 0.117647058824 0.118717715034 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0485933503836 0.0351676179071 138% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.01953258492 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0306905370844 0.0309702414327 99% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0434782608696 0.0887237588012 49% => Some determiners wanted.
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0204603580563 0.0209618222197 98% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0102301790281 0.0139019557991 74% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2248.0 2387.08602151 94% => OK
No of words: 349.0 408.028673835 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.44126074499 5.86048508987 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32221490584 4.48200974243 96% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.398280802292 0.338922669872 118% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.32664756447 0.251872472559 130% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.243553008596 0.174417080927 140% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.171919770774 0.112833075102 152% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01953258492 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.561604584527 0.524397521467 107% => OK
Word variations: 62.3000691522 59.2087087015 105% => OK
How many sentences: 10.0 20.6684587814 48% => More sentences wanted.
Sentence length: 34.9 20.5533526081 170% => OK
Sentence length SD: 98.508933605 48.84282405 202% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 224.8 120.699889404 186% => Less chars per sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 34.9 20.5533526081 170% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.4 0.644075263715 217% => Less Discourse Markers wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.54480286738 54% => OK
Readability: 67.564756447 45.7405998639 148% => OK
Elegance: 1.2868852459 1.45489161554 88% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148729989902 0.300154397459 50% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.135709963467 0.103427244359 131% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.05796656976 0.0752933317313 77% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.617105471235 0.497263757937 124% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.135570960693 0.151897553556 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0677776096742 0.114077575197 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0553703256231 0.0781384742642 71% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.242434984844 0.336927656856 72% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0432820652352 0.067059652881 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100115115804 0.210909579961 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0531745872788 0.0618886996521 86% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8870967742 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.91756272401 0% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.75985663082 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 9.0 13.6433691756 66% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.