Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Getting high scores is seen by many as the primary indicator by which one's academic success can be measured. Like it or not, we all, as students have been under a certain amount of pressure to excel in our classes which its main route seems to be attaining exceptional marks. In my view, while some may disagree, it is of great importance that school-age children be rewarded for their effort by money be given to them or any other appropriate form. I feel this way for two main reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, determining specific goals or marks along with setting a prize for achieving them will be a powerful incentive for children to study to the best of their abilities. To be more specific, the seemingly unpleasant experience of studying, comparing to playing with friends or other enjoyable activities, can become desirable for children if they are motivated by a reward. For instance, I remember when I was in the first grade of high school, a sense of depression and lack of purpose was overwhelming me. Increasingly, focusing on my classes or studying, in general, were becoming pointless for me. As a result of this, my parents decided to encourage me by promising to buy a play station 3, which had recently been released and extremely expensive at that point. Being so passionate about having such a cool device all for myself, I was greatly inspired to get my act together in order to get a top score in my upcoming exams. The result was a tremendous success in all my courses with some of the best grade I had ever received and of course lots of fun playing with PS3!
Secondly, by conditioning the money handed out to children only when they have demonstrated their hard-working capabilities, they are indirectly introduced to the system actually governs the real outside environment. Moreover, As a by-product of this process, they will learn that they are required to produce results so as to bestowed upon money. A comparison between my own personality and that of my brother is a good example of this. I was always given some sort of motivation for getting good marks by parents and in most cases that helped me to distinguish myself at school or to be among top students. On the contrary, my brother for some unknown reasons to me was not under the same strict control that I was in terms of my educational situation. Consequently, he has regrettably, been unable to gain acceptable marks during most of his years at secondary school.
In conclusion, I hold the opinion that It is incumbent upon parents to incentivize their children by any means possible, including giving them money, to do well at school. Not only will it encourage them to be more achieving students thus providing them with a better future, but also they will be familiarized with the true nature of how the adult world functions.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Getting high scores is seen by many as t...
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...will explore in the following essay. To begin with, determining specific goal...
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...course lots of fun playing with PS3! Secondly, by conditioning the money hand...
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Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...at they are required to produce results so as to bestowed upon money. A comparison betwe...
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...st of his years at secondary school. In conclusion, I hold the opinion that I...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, as to, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in general, of course, sort of, as a result, in most cases, in my view, on the contrary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 15.1003584229 185% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 86.0 52.1666666667 165% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2371.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 499.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75150300601 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79956118367 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.539078156313 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 745.2 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.3908429495 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.722222222 100.406767564 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.7222222222 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.7777777778 5.45110844103 253% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.261084808423 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0841108385102 0.076458572812 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0502292145248 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161034123725 0.150856017488 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0490104794794 0.0645574589148 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 11.7677419355 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 86.8835125448 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.