Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is no shortage of opinion on whether parents should offer money to motivate their children to get high grades. While some people believe money is a good incentive for children to study harder, I do not agree with this opinion. I believe offering money to children for high grades may bring negative results and I will develop my idea in the following paragraph.
First of all, children may take inappropriate actions if they are offered to receive money for good grades. To get high scores, children is possible to cheat on exams or copy answers from their classmates. Children may not care whether they gain the knowledges. Instead, they just care the numbers or remarks on the assignments or exams. Drawing from my experience, my aunt gives my cousin money if he receives an A in any subjects. Therefore, my cousin tries to find the courses that are easily to get an A and tried to copy the answer from his classmates. He does not care if they really understand the content of the lecture. He just wants to receive good scores so that he can receive the money. It turns out that the money is making my cousin learning less from school. For this reason, I can not support that money should be offered to children as an incentive for learning.
Secondly, school-age children do not need money so the money they receive would not be well-used. Nowadays, parents usually take good care of their children. They provides healthy foods to their children and drive their children to school. Children do not need money for living so they may use the money they gain from the high scores to play video games or buy comic books which may distract them from school studies. For example, my cousin, John, he got money from his mother and he used all the money on video games. He spent a lot of time playing games and forgot to review his school work. Hence, offering money to children is not a good idea as they do not know how to make good use of money.
Although offering money may encourage children to study harder, from a long-term perspective, it could lead negative consequences as children should cultivate a good habit to study by their own and try to find their own-interests in school subjects.
In light of the reasons above, I believe that offering money is not a good idea to motivate children on learning.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 412, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'an' or 'A' is left.
Suggestion: an; A
...nt gives my cousin money if he receives an A in any subjects. Therefore, my cousin t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 164, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'provide'
Suggestion: provide
... take good care of their children. They provides healthy foods to their children and dri...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, for example, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1918.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65533980583 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44346963923 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.436893203883 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 581.4 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.7132081664 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.1818181818 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7272727273 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63636363636 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.412220291598 0.236089414692 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140325277216 0.076458572812 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0778893385125 0.0737576698707 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.250286803751 0.150856017488 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0750384502061 0.0645574589148 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.17 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.