There are both positive and negative aspects of spending kids their free time in either entertainment or helpful actions related to schools. If I were forced to choose, I would definitely select spending the time in practical matters. It is my firm belief children have to utilizing their time in intellectual things for a number of reasons and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragrapghs.
To begin with, kids need to encouragement and support at this age, so if they spend this time in recreations only, this ,ay harm them in the future. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. ten year ago, I was at the ninth grade and my father was busy all the time because he has two jobs in the same day, also my mom was utilized with her work and chores work. Moreover, in those days, I was spending all my time playing video games and watching series, so my father decided to enrolling me in a corporation for teaching france language. In addition, it was a special movment in my life because moving from entertainment to hard study with odd language was stunning. Undoubtedly, it was hard to keep going with this thing because this required from me spend five hours everyday between classes and transportation using public services, but is deserve this tiredness. Consequently, after I graduated from the university in civil engineering at five years, I started to apply to many companies inside and outside my country,so today after ten years from that decision I am working in france because of the advanced language ability that I learened in the past.
Secondly, today the world is changed, so spending time in streets playing sports or stay at home playing games will harm the kids because they need to increase their intellectual development. Drawing from my own experience. Recently, my brother who has 16 years old started to learn some sophisticated courses and workshops related to programing. As aresult, he got enormous certificates and he is preparing to complete his study in computer since. On top of that, because of my brother's time that spent on schoolwork, he decided to majoring in this major, but the other students in his school did not have any idea.
Finally, I strongly feel that children should used their free time to practice in valuable things related to their school. This is because can give them opportunity in the future to find superb occupation and find themselves in what major they want to attend.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 266, Rule ID: NEED_TO_VBG[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have to utilize'?
Suggestion: have to utilize
... matters. It is my firm belief children have to utilizing their time in intellectual things for a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 120, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...pend this time in recreations only, this ,ay harm them in the future. I have to ad...
^^
Line 3, column 259, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Ten
...fluenced by my own personal experience. ten year ago, I was at the ninth grade and ...
^^^
Line 3, column 839, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... this required from me spend five hours everyday between classes and transportation usin...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 913, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'deserved'.
Suggestion: deserved
...portation using public services, but is deserve this tiredness. Consequently, after I g...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1091, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , so
... companies inside and outside my country,so today after ten years from that decisio...
^^^
Line 5, column 250, Rule ID: HAVE_CD_YEARS[1]
Message: This phrase is used with 'be': 'is 16 years old'.
Suggestion: is 16 years old
...wn experience. Recently, my brother who has 16 years old started to learn some sophisticated cou...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, in addition, to begin with, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2089.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 431.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84686774942 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75271812125 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.549883990719 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 649.8 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.8954517857 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.882352941 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3529411765 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.58823529412 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211180955895 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0746623757612 0.076458572812 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0636891893983 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153179257104 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0421445751868 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 11.7677419355 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.