Students of a university have a long break between university semesters; the university requires all students to do one of the following for one month during the break:
1. Students must take a course on the subject that has no direct connection to their majors of study (For example, a student majoring in engineering may take course in fine arts or social science.)
2. Students must volunteer to work in the university’s city or their hometowns to improve some aspects of life of the city or their own town. (For example, students may help local primary school children with their homework.) Which one do you think is more beneficial for students in their university? Why? Give detailed examples and reasons. Use your OWN words, do NOT use memorized examples.
In the modern era, academic life is involved with practical aspects that are beneficial to the society. Students prefer to have occupations related to their majors, and not all of them are successful in this issue. The controversial question which arises here is that what strategy a student must follow in addition to the university assignments in their free time that can help them excel in the job interviews? Some people believe that encouraging students to do irrelevant tasks like fine arts results in a boom in their social performance, but on the contrary, the opponents believe that the volunteer tasks during the student period must be beneficial for their society. I convict that the latter is a rational choice. Many reasons support my thesis, two of which will be discussed in follows.
First and foremost, students passing entrance exams choose their major in order to be beneficial to their society. They plan to excel in the entrance exam and dwell on the best majors in the university. It is undeniable that they try to have the most efficient service for their society. To shed light on this explanation, research shows that 70 percent of Iranian students in undergraduate programs apply for internships in companies in summers and try to be practical in this manner. So doing a particular task for the society parallel to university is a more rational choice for them. As a result, students get more and more experienced in their fields and appear more confident in job interviews.
Additionally, forcing the students to take part in jobs that are not relevant to their studies leads to a lack of efficiency, since their field of study seems impractical to them, and finally, they lose their confidence. To exemplify, in a research conducted by the psychology department by our university, students who do jobs that are not relevant to their field of study are inclined to addiction and depression, and they get inefficient in their studies. All of them encourage us to let them be beneficial to the society in the direction of their talents.
To be concise, letting students do their additional tasks in their own town makes them stronger in identity and self-confidence and finally makes them successful in job interviews. Besides, in case students do tasks irrelevant to their majors, it leads them into mental health problems. So the best choice is to let them independently serve the society in their fields.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...iety. To shed light on this explanation, research shows that 70 percent of Irania...
^^
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...identity and self-confidence and finally makes them successful in job interviews....
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, finally, first, if, so, well, in addition, as a result, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2033.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 407.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99508599509 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86452769203 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.486486486486 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 628.2 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.8024531057 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.944444444 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6111111111 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.72222222222 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246740917326 0.236089414692 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0812751217858 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0566519606643 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163488827446 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0430730208815 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.