Success is a very important part of our life. In order to be an effective person, we have to draw our steps because success is sum of efforts and careful planning. Some people would agree that success comes from taking risks and I think they belong to sport field. Others would disagree. Personally, I think success results from careful planning for two imperative reasons.
To begin with, we should study all advantages and disadvantages of our plan. Through careful planning, we will observe all positive and negative effects of our path. Take myself as an example, when I was in high school, I had decided to attend pharmacy school, I searched a lot and I collected a lot of information so I can understand everything about pharmacy school. In fact, I took my father's opinion about if I could success in this college so I studies all things about it, and even I asked many students in pharmacy school to find out if I could success in this branch. After a lot of plannig, I took my decision and I attend pharmacy school, and the results were success and I graduated with a good grades. As we can clearly see, if I took risks without planning, I haven't finshed my school.
Second, success needs special skills, designs and even timing management. We have to deliberate about our success to reach our dream. By taking risks, we will failed and this will impact our personality and our future. For instance, three years ago, my sister was excited to go to France, but she didn't plan for anything about this trip. Actually, she planned to visit Paris wiht her friend, but she didn't prepare anything, as a result she asked me before three days about this trip and I told her that will be bad for her because she has to take many things with her such as medicine, clothes, cellphone, and even map to guide her there. When she went there and after two days, she got sick and she couldn't go to the doctor since she didn't take her insurance card, consequently, she felt upset and she wasn't happy about the trip so she failed. I taught from her experience that we have study each step to succeed.
By the way of conclusion, based on the argument explored above, I firmly concur that success comes from careful planning and we should pay attention of that because this is related to our future, our personality, and even our success. Success is worthwhile for each step in our life.
if I could success in this college so I studies all things about it
if I could succeed in this college so I study all things about it
if I could success in this branch.
if I could succeed in this branch.
and the results were success and I graduated with a good grades.
and the results were successful and I graduated with good grades.
we have study each step to succeed.
we have to study each step to succeed.
Sentence: By taking risks, we will failed and this will impact our personality and our future.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and failed
Sentence: After a lot of plannig, I took my decision and I attend pharmacy school, and the results were success and I graduated with a good grades.
Error: plannig Suggestion: planning
Sentence: As we can clearly see, if I took risks without planning, I haven't finshed my school.
Error: finshed Suggestion: finished
Sentence: Actually, she planned to visit Paris wiht her friend, but she didn't prepare anything, as a result she asked me before three days about this trip and I told her that will be bad for her because she has to take many things with her such as medicine, clothes, cellphone, and even map to guide her there.
Error: wiht Suggestion: with
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
More sentences varieties wanted. Look, a lot of sentences start with subject 'I' or 'she'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 1894 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.374 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.339 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.143 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.275 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5