Personal enjoyment and necessary tasks have been a debatable issue for years. There are many arguments that people today spend too much time on doing things they like to do than to doing things they should do. Personally, I strongly agree with this statement.
On one hand, what I put in my priority is self-control deterioration. The fact is that people today are likely to be attracted by entertainments. Since the technology has significantly improved through the years, people are able to possess many hobbies and entertainments that technology provides. Accordingly, they have a tendency to focus to pursue these hobbies, which, in fact, wastes lots of their time. There is a likelihood that the things that they should do never cross their mind while they are doing their favorite work. For example, once I visited my cousin, he was watching his favorite cartoons. His mother told him to finish the house work before 5pm. However, he concentrated on watching the cartoon without noticing the task which he should do. Although I reminded him of his duty, he quickly put it out of his mind after a few minutes watching the cartoon. As a result, he forgot the housework and got a punishment from her mother. My cousin’s case is a perfect example of people today tend to do things they like rather than things they should do.
Secondly, bad awareness is undauntedly of paramount importance. People like doing what they like because they like the upcoming results. These upcoming results are bound to be the happiness and satisfaction that people want to have. Therefore, it makes them forget about the achievement of doing the things they should do, which is often rewarding. Without doubt, people today prefer doing their favorite things to doing necessary things. My friend, for example, bought his new video game. Despite he knew that there was an important upcoming exam, he still spent time enjoying the game. He assumed that playing games makes him a lot happier. Therefore, he did badly in the exam and receive low grade. The worst thing was he had to take the class again since his score was too low to receive credit. My friend’s case is considered a good illustration of people today prefer doing their favorite things to doing necessary things.
In conclusion, self-control deterioration and bad awareness are the convincing reasons for my agreement. It is highly recommended that readers should take my writing into close consideration.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ite things to doing necessary things. In conclusion, self-control deterioratio...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, while, as to, for example, in conclusion, in fact, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2058.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 410.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01951219512 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49982852243 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77004457299 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519512195122 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.3299204936 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.2222222222 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1851851852 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.74074074074 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.469177131182 0.236089414692 199% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123273251179 0.076458572812 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.174257435012 0.0737576698707 236% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.325852744716 0.150856017488 216% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.20932328597 0.0645574589148 324% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.24 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.