Technology plays an important part in our daily lives. We can use technology on almost every aspects of lives and obviously we cannot escape its influence anymore. One very important technology is computers. Both adults and children can access to video games through using computer. Some people believe that computers games help young children to be more creative, While others hold different opinion. In my view, children should not be allowed to play computers games for many reasons.
First, children who play computer games become unhealthy. Since computer games posses an addicted effect, which makes children spend many hours playing without feeling that. This means they would not have time to do physical activities, and consequently, lead to obesity. For example, Last month , I read an article about the negative impacts of lacking physical activities on young children, in particular, their cognitive abilities and their growth. According to this article, the major cause for children to do not participate in any sports, or other social activities is that these young children have been playing video-games for hours during their normal day. These children have unable to develop normally, or suffer from some inabilities to communicate effectively with others from same age. As you can see, playing computer games are not only complete waste of time, but also do have serious problems on children’s development.
Second, children who spend hours playing games, they do not have enough time to study. As I mentioned earlier, videos games do really have addiction affects, this negative impact would shift children away from their important studies, in fact, they will fail in their study. For instance, two- years ago, my sister brought to her son, who is a young child, one of so popular video-games as a reward for his success in studying in that year. Since that year, my nephew was spending many hours playing games without pay attention to his homeworks, or exams. After that, though his parents followed up with him, he had begun to do not very well on his studies,and eventually he failed on certain exams. My sister have realized that since he started playing, his grades went down dramatically because he did not have time to study, besides to stay up late. This experience taught me that even if parents organize their children time to play some video-games, they would not able to control how many hours will spend because of addiction powers. ultimately, children will waste their precious studying time.
Third, children who watch video-games will influence their behavior negatively. Even though their are so many advertisement inform children to not imitate characters on games, children, unfortunately, do not have that sense of reality and they will learn violence. For example, When I worked at one of health emergency center last year, I had seen many cases that visited the center were about children try to do what you have seen on games. Therefore, these innocent children were broken their arms or leg, or in advance cases, they suffered from other children try to do such violent movements while they playing with each others. All these cases are resulted from, exposure to games materials that actually inappropriate for their ages.
In short, children should not allow to play computer games not only it will deteriorate their health, but also do waste their studying time. Without forgetting they will influence their behavior negatively. We should all encourage parents to take care of their children by spending more time with them instead of letting them do useless activities.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...t escape its influence anymore. One very important technology is computers. Both ...
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...lead to obesity. For example, Last month , I read an article about the negative im...
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... will fail in their study. For instance, two- years ago, my sister brought to her...
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...rought to her son, who is a young child, one of so popular video-games as a rewar...
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...begun to do not very well on his studies,and eventually he failed on certain exams. ...
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Suggestion: Ultimately
...will spend because of addiction powers. ultimately, children will waste their precious stu...
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... their behavior negatively. Even though their are so many advertisement inform childr...
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Line 7, column 106, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun advertisement seems to be countable; consider using: 'many advertisements'.
Suggestion: many advertisements
...or negatively. Even though their are so many advertisement inform children to not imitate characte...
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...nform children to not imitate characters on games, children, unfortunately, do no...
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...hers. All these cases are resulted from, exposure to games materials that actuall...
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Message: Did you mean 'playing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: playing
... In short, children should not allow to play computer games not only it will deterio...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, consequently, first, if, really, second, so, therefore, third, well, while, for example, for instance, in fact, in particular, in short, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3054.0 1977.66487455 154% => OK
No of words: 586.0 407.700716846 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.21160409556 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92010537223 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65729260656 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 299.0 212.727598566 141% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51023890785 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 934.2 618.680645161 151% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.994623655914 201% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.5523117665 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.310344828 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2068965517 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10344827586 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.248423784254 0.236089414692 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0868426979387 0.076458572812 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0727606307332 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171830024016 0.150856017488 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0441127907285 0.0645574589148 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 86.8835125448 152% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.