TPO-17 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better then they really are.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Advertisements are important for product. They gives information about product. Some people believe that many advertisements make product looks much better they really are; others disagree. In my view, commercials surely make products look better then they really are.

First and foremost, advertisement business use various psychology technique in order to effect the customer. It goes without saying psychology is precious science area and some psychological facts can be usable for effect people. For example, when I was in university, I had a friend George. George studied psychology in the university. And George wants to do career in advertisement area. That is why now he studying master degree about customer psychology in the Stanford University. George works in a various advertisement company. He states, even though just colors are effective, and for example if red theme used in the commercial, that color looks product better. All in all, some psychology technique such as color technique used in advertisement sector in order to effect the customer.

Second, when commercial includes some famous person the product looks better. Without a doubt, most of the people are fan of some famous character.What's more, when we see favorite famous person in the commercial, we tend to buy that product which shows in commercial. For example, last week I saw a milk commercial on the television. That milk commercial includes some football player. Even though my brother do not like milk, thanks to that commercial now my brother drink that milk from that brand every single night. He states, this milk taste better than other milks. As a result, people tend to effect by famous people in the commercials.

To sum up, through some may oppose the idea that many commercials make products looks much better than actually. Not only advertisement companies use psychology science for effected people but also some people easily effected by famous characters in the advertisements. People should not easily believe the commercials.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 48, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...sements are important for product. They gives information about product. Some people ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 241, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'better than'?
Suggestion: better than
..., commercials surely make products look better then they really are. First and foremos...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...rcials surely make products look better then they really are. First and foremos...
^^^^
Line 4, column 410, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'studies'.
Suggestion: studies
... advertisement area. That is why now he studying master degree about customer psychology...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 148, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Whats
...people are fan of some famous character.Whats more, when we see favorite famous perso...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 148, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...people are fan of some famous character.Whats more, when we see favorite famous perso...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, look, may, really, second, so, then, for example, such as, as a result, in my view, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1720.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 322.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34161490683 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90714416759 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.518633540373 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 528.3 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.8748377728 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.7826086957 100.406767564 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.0 20.6045352989 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.4347826087 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.147644306986 0.236089414692 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0519138102676 0.076458572812 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0669819048762 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116062068537 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101266076961 0.0645574589148 157% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 10.1575268817 87% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.1 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.18 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.