TPO-21 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

In the past, we all believed that to achieve our goals and be succesfull, we need a high degree of our education whether a bachelor or a graduate. Nevertheless, most of the bigger companies like Google and Apple do not significantly require high scored students to be their employees in these days. Schools are not the evaluations of a person's intelligence, knowladge and creativeness. As far as I am concerned, I believe the same as those biggest companies. To succeed in a future life, there is no necessity to study hard in the school. Apart from that, having close relations with people is more valuable and the best target to be succesfull.

First of all, I had my bachelor's degree from a small university named Kırıkkale university which is located in middle of Turkey. Enrolling to that school was not really hard in order to have th emajor of economics. Most of my friedns used to try to have close relations with our professors. I knew that I could only get sufficient information from my teachers that what only books says about economics. Subsequently I graduated from there, I throw myself to the market of furniture manufacturers. My only purpose was to run a company where it produces furniture. I had many interviews with people who supported my ideas to create unique items. Eventually, I found a person who is the owner of a big furniture firm. He believed me and my ideas and we started doing business together. Now, I am about to get my welfare level as I was wishing to be. So, a close relationship with businessmen let me get into my dream job easily with a wide business.

In addition, from the same university I graduated, one of my friend found a great job as soon as he graduated. He now sells the shares of some specific companies and has a good income. He always believed the same way we tought. Also, he is an outgoing person and loves to talk so much to others. He knew how to encourage himself and make the others comfortable while he is speaking confidently. On the other hand, my childhood friend graduated from Middle East Technical University as a statistician. He was tired of looking for a well-paid job for two years. He only tried to internet based connections and websites that companies apply to have new employees. Sitting at home and expecting to discover someone to you to have a good job just seems a little ridiculous. Therefore, being extrovert and always look for your demans would be the only way you can be succesfull.

Lastly, Google and Apple are considered to be on eof the biggest companies in the world. In employee situation, the do not look for the greatest degree. They believe that the intelligence and creativeness of a person do not come from their school education. For example, of course Google do care if you have a bachelor's degree to be an computer scientist but, whatever the university and degree you graduated with, Google do not pay much attention to expect you to be well-informed. With a small tests, they explore if you could be a good match for the position they are looking for. So, being talkative and confident would let you in to the Google as your dream job. A degree? Everyone can achieve a high degree by sitting front of books, but being talented is much more different that only some of the people can have.

To sum up, the world is much cointerintuative than the recent decades. Nowadays, people and the companies are trying to be more connective to achieve their goals in almost every sectors. Beign able to graduate from university and having some relations with teachers can inform you but, when you try to attempt to get in to the great job, you have to realate well to people.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 337, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...s. Schools are not the evaluations of a persons intelligence, knowladge and creativenes...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 404, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Subsequently,
...t what only books says about economics. Subsequently I graduated from there, I throw myself ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 829, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...I am about to get my welfare level as I was wishing to be. So, a close relationship with bu...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 113, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...es in the world. In employee situation, the do not look for the greatest degree. They ...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 334, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...re if you have a bachelors degree to be an computer scientist but, whatever the un...
^^
Line 8, column 793, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...lented is much more different that only some of the people can have. To sum up, the worl...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, look, nevertheless, really, so, therefore, well, while, apart from, as to, for example, in addition, of course, first of all, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 15.1003584229 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 91.0 52.1666666667 174% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3031.0 1977.66487455 153% => OK
No of words: 650.0 407.700716846 159% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.66307692308 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04926703274 4.48103885553 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80016102665 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 309.0 212.727598566 145% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475384615385 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 961.2 618.680645161 155% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 37.0 20.6003584229 180% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.1013464838 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.9189189189 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5675675676 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.97297297297 5.45110844103 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 11.8709677419 177% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 16.0 4.88709677419 327% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179543983715 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0430650073898 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0437615714542 0.0737576698707 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109408342904 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0317382697924 0.0645574589148 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.45 10.9000537634 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 86.8835125448 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.