TPO 21(independent)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

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TPO 21(independent)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

It is a highly debated issue that what characteristics are essential for humans in order to be successful in their future vocations and this topic can be approached from various angles due to its importance. While some people tend to think that having background information is a key factor which assists greatly to reach the target of being an excellent employee, others firmly suppose the ability of cooperating well to people of high importance. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that both of the aforementioned factors are effective for employees to have, if they are willing to make improvements in their careers; therefore none of them shall be neglected. Following discussion reveals my stand and justification.

To commence, my first subtle point requires to be mentioned is that, no one can deny the necessity and the impact of having basic knowledge as a crucial factor that leads to be a successful person in future job. How could a person wants to be a professional employee without having the required knowledge in his major? For instance, it seems impossible to think that a person would be a high graded civil engineer in future, and neglects its previous endeavors in different stages of his life. Definitely, he has to study very hard in various situations to obtain all that sort of information. Obviously, everyone would know that practice makes perfects.

The next aspect that deserves to be pointed out is that, although humans learn many things in schools and colleges, but are they sufficient to help us make progress in our professional life? The answer is "no" for sure. Work environment needs many social skills that are obligatory for communication with others. Everyone has to be familiar with such activities that are needed in workplace. Here are some of the actions actually all of them deserve a good background of social interactions. How to talk to a manager, write a report and present a work, send official emails, make a requistion from a colleague, impose an opinion politely in a meeting, defense a viewpoint, etc. If anyone did not know the above actions, it is very probable that the company hire another person instead of him.

To recapitulate briefly, based on the previous paragraphs, I am in conviction that both factors, studying hard at schools and the ability to have good relations with others, are vital for reaching the vocation zenith.

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How could a person wants to be a professional employee
How could a person want to be a professional employee

although humans learn many things in schools and colleges, but are they sufficient
Description: don't put 'although' 'but' in one sentence.

that the company hire another person instead of him.
that the company hires another person instead of him.

Sentence: How to talk to a manager, write a report and present a work, send official emails, make a requistion from a colleague, impose an opinion politely in a meeting, defense a viewpoint, etc. If anyone did not know the above actions, it is very probable that the company hire another person instead of him.
Error: requistion Suggestion: requisition

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 1956 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.89 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.809 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.879 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.483 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5