TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

Nowadays having a good job is one of the most important issues which all the people try to reach that. Some parents pay more attention to their teenage children and hope they be an engineer or doctor in the future. The question is that parents should help to teenage children to take part time job for preparing future life? Some parents may agree with this point, however, in point of my view, in spite of short benefits of this job, it would have negative effects after some period. I have lots of good reason for my opinion but the most important of them are: part-time jobs for teenage children causes to waste their precious time and children feel independent.
First and foremost, part time jobs for student causes they waste their precious time. Children who work for several hours they couldn't spend enough time for their assignments and they face with the drop in their studies. Also after hardworking, they are tired and aren't motivated to study. For example one of my friends has such situation and they were working at book store. At first, he was saying no matter, I could manage both of job and study but after weeks he failed on the mathematics with bad mark. Now he is not pleasant from his unsuitable decision. This example taught me that we shouldn't attempt to part time job during our studies.
On the other hand, part-time jobs cause that teenage children feel they are independent and they could do everything they like. Sometimes taste the flavor of the money is the bad thing and has bad results for children. Not only they don't obey their parents, also they discourage from studying. These temporary benefits attract a child to working part time jobs but it doesn't have any guarantee they leave their studies to whole time job. It seems to me, if anyone have economical goals, the best way is concentrating on study and becoming a excelent engineer or doctor, particularly in my country.
As a conclusion, nevertheless some parents guide them to take some relted or unrelated works but the future of these works isn't obvious for them. I believe if they be aware about bad effects that these works have, never they allow to their childs. Not only it waste children's time also they don't obey their parents. Don,t you think part-time work isn't suitable to young children?

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 9, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Nowadays having a good job is one of the most imp...
^^
Line 1, column 286, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...should help to teenage children to take part time job for preparing future life? Some par...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 565, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ion but the most important of them are: part time jobs for teenage children causes to was...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 608, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'wasting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: wasting
...t time jobs for teenage children causes to waste their precious time and children feel i...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 21, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... feel independent. First and foremost, part time jobs for student causes they waste thei...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 227, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ey face with the drop in their studies. Also after hardworking, they are tired and a...
^^^^
Line 2, column 630, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ht me that we shouldn't attempt to part time job during our studies. On the other h...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 20, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...during our studies. On the other hand, part time jobs cause that teenage children feel t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 352, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ary benefits attract a child to working part time jobs but it doesn't have any guara...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 476, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'anyone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...ole time job. It seems to me, if anyone have economical goals, the best way is conce...
^^^^
Line 3, column 551, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... is concentrating on study and becoming a excelent engineer or doctor, particular...
^
Line 4, column 135, Rule ID: OBVIOUS_FOR[1]
Message: The adjective obvious is normally used with 'to': 'obvious to them'.
Suggestion: obvious to them
...ut the future of these works isn't obvious for them. I believe if they be aware about bad e...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 266, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'wastes'?
Suggestion: wastes
...they allow to their childs. Not only it waste children's time also they don&apos...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 337, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , t
... they don't obey their parents. Don,t you think part time work isn't sui...
^^
Line 4, column 350, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...s;t obey their parents. Don,t you think part time work isn't suitable to young child...
^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'nevertheless', 'so', 'for example', 'in spite of', 'on the other hand']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.248434237996 0.229887763892 108% => OK
Verbs: 0.162839248434 0.158761421928 103% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0772442588727 0.0866891130778 89% => OK
Adverbs: 0.035490605428 0.046263068375 77% => OK
Pronouns: 0.098121085595 0.0685040099705 143% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.0960334029228 0.118717715034 81% => OK
Participles: 0.0187891440501 0.0351676179071 53% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.51143839492 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.027139874739 0.0309702414327 88% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0688935281837 0.0887237588012 78% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0104384133612 0.0209618222197 50% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00417536534447 0.0139019557991 30% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2349.0 2387.08602151 98% => OK
No of words: 404.0 408.028673835 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.81435643564 5.86048508987 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.48200974243 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.284653465347 0.338922669872 84% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.225247524752 0.251872472559 89% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.153465346535 0.174417080927 88% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0915841584158 0.112833075102 81% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51143839492 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527227722772 0.524397521467 101% => OK
Word variations: 59.2157738552 59.2087087015 100% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6684587814 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.2380952381 20.5533526081 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.3274217221 48.84282405 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.857142857 120.699889404 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2380952381 20.5533526081 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.52380952381 0.644075263715 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.54480286738 271% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 41.7628477133 45.7405998639 91% => OK
Elegance: 1.22535211268 1.45489161554 84% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.395010972647 0.300154397459 132% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.117430550676 0.103427244359 114% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0971808571129 0.0752933317313 129% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.450315781802 0.497263757937 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.0939528156581 0.151897553556 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.143467192667 0.114077575197 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0860989476191 0.0781384742642 110% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.392979816751 0.336927656856 117% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0486343102331 0.067059652881 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279155338796 0.210909579961 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0820754513174 0.0618886996521 133% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8870967742 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.86379928315 207% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 8.42114695341 107% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 2.4623655914 244% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.75985663082 109% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 13.6433691756 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.