TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

A prevalent statement we hear a lot today is that taking a part-time job is a good way to prepare children for their adult life since this will make them more independent. A considerable number of oppopents, however, aruge that children should concentrate on their study instead of doing a job, which should not be taken into consideration untill they graduate. As far as I am concerned, the former view seems to align more with my personal perspective. There several reasons to support my point of view. The following two will suffice here.

To begin with, with the development of our society, tasks today are becoming more and more complex that it is impossible for someone to complete individually. And this make team spirit essential in our education. In this case, encouraging children to take a part time job will give them a chance to work in a big company or a restuarant, where they will have to work with plenty of people. In a team, children will learn how to cooperate with their teammates and maintain a good relationship. This training is unavaliable schools where children mainly focus on thinking and doing homework independently. With team spirit, it is easier for a child to fit in a new working environment in their future career development. In addition, their part-time experience will also be a shiny point in their resumes, through which employers may consider these children are outgoing and may get along well with other employees.

Secondly, taking a part-time job will help students know more about their interests and strenghts. An irony phenomenon in China is that students may spend three years on their college entrance exam but only three days on choosing a major in the colleges. The problem facing these children is that they do not even know about themselves. Their decisions are mostly based on the other people's opinion or the mainstream of the society. Major being not related to their interests is the main cause of so many dropping out or changing subjects in the universities, which is a total waste of time and money. On the contrary, when he is finding a part-time job, a child starts to consider what filed he would like to develop in, and what skill he would like to learn. During the job, he will also reflect on his own interest and ability. Through these processes, a child will learn more about himself unconsciously, which will make it more possible for them to make a mature and appropriate decision in the future.

Admittedly, a minority of people may argue that doing a part-time job will distract children from their study. What I would like to refute is that, the purpose of education is to prepare our children the skills that they need when they explore the world in the future instead of fill them with knowledge as much as possible by their graduation. And being a good member in a team and having a deep knowledge about himself are one of these skills.

For the reasons mention above, I highly agree that encouraging children to do part-time job is one of the best way to for them to prepare for the adult life.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 259, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...is case, encouraging children to take a part time job will give them a chance to work in ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 384, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...decisions are mostly based on the other peoples opinion or the mainstream of the societ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, in addition, on the contrary, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 80.0 52.1666666667 153% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2549.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 535.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76448598131 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67222133799 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482242990654 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 787.5 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 10.0 3.08781362007 324% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.8352458657 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.208333333 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2916666667 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.16666666667 5.45110844103 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30917802061 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0888317384571 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0969373644374 0.0737576698707 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226344528462 0.150856017488 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.117401539184 0.0645574589148 182% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.