In my view, take a part-time job for teenagers can be very helpful. Psychologists claim that getting a job can make people feel better about themselves and their life. Also, it can decrease psychological problems such as depression. In the other view, jobs can increase the productivity of a country which enhances the social economy. There are some important advantages to give part-time jobs to teenagers.
First, they can get familiar with different jobs practically. there are many books and sites that introduce different jobs for us but these statements are theoretically and they are based on some people experience. So, their opinion is personalization and it can be varied among people. For example, two of my friends study medicine. One of them really interested in the medical field so when she study professional books she enjoys a lot and does not understand time going. On the contradict, another one does not like this field so whenever I speak with her she is sad and weary. She does not have any good feeling about this field. As a consequence, this two persons will give far contradict statements about the same fields. When a teenager experience special work himself, he can judge about it based on his abilities, interests and ideas so he can decide more confident to choose it as his job in the future or not.
Second, if teenagers have an opportunity to get a part-time job, they will learn responsibility and independence and public relation. Every person should be able to meet his needs himself as he becomes an adult. This work can be a good preliminary for it. In such these jobs, some different task will be given to teenagers. Bosses expect them to do these task in good quality in limited time so they learn that they should be responsible for their task. For example, in China, many teenagers have part-time jobs so they are more responsible than teenagers in other countries. As a consequence, the unemployment rate is very low in this country. Also, these works can bring some money for teenagers so they can experience independence and on the other view they understand that money is getting hard so they should not expend it carelessly. For example, my sister was so thriftless and she spends her money in useless ways but when she starts to work she understand the difficulties of making money and now she is an economical person. Usually teenagers relation is limited in family and school. Another advantage of working is that they will meet different characters in various age range so they will learn how to relate with different persons in a good way. For example, when I started to work in a wind turbine company I meet different kinds of people. At first, I could not communicate with them and understand some behavior message but as time passes I got familiar with them and it enhanced my performance in the company.
To sum up, encouraging teenage children to have a part-time job is very fruitful. It can change their future to the better way and also enhance some of their skills such as responsibility, independence and public relation.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 253, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s such as depression. In the other view, jobs can increase the productivity of a ...
^^
Line 2, column 62, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...miliar with different jobs practically. there are many books and sites that introduce...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 397, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'studies'.
Suggestion: studies
...rested in the medical field so when she study professional books she enjoys a lot and...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 478, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... and does not understand time going. On the contradict, another one does not like this field s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 954, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'understands'.
Suggestion: understands
...ss ways but when she starts to work she understand the difficulties of making money and no...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, so, for example, such as, in my view, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2560.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 529.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8393194707 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8165894872 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.449905482042 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 814.5 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.0658423472 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.275862069 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2413793103 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.93103448276 5.45110844103 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241573871103 0.236089414692 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0728716742162 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0523754491081 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177971184691 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0324387500545 0.0645574589148 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.34 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.