Tpo 28. Parents are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. Agree or disagree.

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Tpo 28. Parents are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. Agree or disagree.

Whether these days parents get more involved in their children’s education rather than past would be a controversial issue. Although some people believe that today parents do not care about their children’s educational levels because they have become permissive, I hold this opinion that without any doubt parents have paid more attention to their children’s academic achievements. Since the parents have become more knowledgeable, and technologies prevent today’s talented children from focusing on their subjects, fathers and mothers have involved in children’s education. This essay is going to elaborate on these reasons more exhaustively.

To begin with, parents because of their academic backgrounds devote considerable attention to their children’s education. Parents know attending university is getting highly competitive and their children have to be eligible so that they can be accepted by prestigious universities. Besides, they always try to advise their children study hard and make their own best to get trustworthiness jobs in the future. For example, since many father and mothers want their children to pursue their academic degrees in advanced countries such as USA, so they register their children in the best English classes until they become ready for TOEFL and GRE exams. Parents are also familiar with popular job opportunities of a societies, they recommend their children that which major they should study, which will bring their children status and prestige.

Along with parents’ knowledge, with the arrival of advanced technologies, parents are more likely to involve in their children’s education. The invention of computer games and the Internet, children have less concentration on their subjects, they just would like either to surf the Internet or to sit in front of T.V programs. However, because parents are aware of their abilities and talents, they motivate their children to devote more their times to their academic subjects. Parents make an appointment with academic adviser to make organized plans for their children to study their materials so that their children could enter high ranking universities. Because today children have more indepndence, well-informed parents are worried about whether they spend with their top classmates or not, if they do not, they will ask their teachers to make close friendship between their children and hard-working students.

Today parents are both highly-educated and well-informed, and children can easily be distracted by technologies, so parents try to involve in their education to encourage them for studying hard rather than past. I hope that all parents know how to involve in their children’s academic achievement, it would be a good idea to pay more attention to their children’s future, but they should not force their children which major they have to choose.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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The invention of computer games and the Internet, children have less concentration on their subjects, they just would like either to surf the Internet or to sit in front of T.V programs.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: Because today children have more indepndence, well-informed parents are worried about whether they spend with their top classmates or not, if they do not, they will ask their teachers to make close friendship between their children and hard-working students.
Error: well-informed Suggestion: well informed
Error: indepndence Suggestion: independence

flaws:
Don't need to put reasons at introduction paragraph.

Some duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 440 while No. of Different Words: 213

Try this pattern:

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.

Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First

Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 440 350
No. of Characters: 2371 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.58 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.389 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.775 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.775 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.449 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5