TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.U

I believe that, today's technology advancements have a significant role in educating children and make it much easier than the past, because they will learn team working by playing online games. Also, social networks help them to become more sociable. Besides, by using the internet, students have access to a wide range of books and can increase their knowledge.
Online games will teach children team working. Today, it is very important to know about how it would be possible to work with each other as a team, because with advancements in technology, the world has changed a lot and works become more difficult. If someone wants to do everything individually, he or she may encounter problems and as a result, he may fail. Therefore, it would be significant that, children learn how to work with other people, and online games would familiarize them with the term of "team working". In these games, they are dividing into different groups in order to compete with each other. In each group, each one of the members has a particular task and needs to contribute with others in order to win the game.
In addition, children will learn how to be more sociable in society by using the social networks. In these web sites, children could have connection with lots of people, add them to their profiles, and then chat with them. It will be more efficiency for shy ones, because they can make a communication with others in order to practice to behave more sociable. For example, my cousin has followed two hundred people in his Instagram page, which allows him to make a lot of friends and share his pictures or life events with them.
Today, by using the internet, children have increased their knowledge and become more literate. In the past, if they wanted to know more about something, they had to go to a library and read several books, which took a lot of time. In addition, they had not access to their books whenever they need to. But now, thanks to the internet, accessibility to a wide range of books has become easier and they have access to them in everywhere. For instance, I often go to travel and can't take all of my books with myself. Therefore, by downloading them through the internet, I have access to them in everywhere and whenever I need to them.
In conclusion, as the time passes and technology becomes more advanced, educating children has become much easier through cellphones, online games, and social networks. Because online games provide a situation, in which children can learn how to work with other people as a team. Moreover, by using social networks, they will be connected to lots of people throughout the world, which in turn helps them to be more sociable in society. Furthermore, internet helps children to increase their knowledge through having accessibility to a huge number of books in everywhere.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 157, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to team'
Suggestion: to team
... than the past, because they will learn team working by playing online games. Also, ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... with others in order to win the game. In addition, children will learn how to be...
^^
Line 3, column 98, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n society by using the social networks. In these web sites, children could have co...
^^
Line 3, column 326, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'practice behaving'.
Suggestion: practice behaving
...a communication with others in order to practice to behave more sociable. For example, my cousin h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 476, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... For instance, I often go to travel and cant take all of my books with myself. There...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, furthermore, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 87.0 52.1666666667 167% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2364.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 488.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84426229508 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70007681154 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66794150079 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.434426229508 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 738.9 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.2736386925 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.782608696 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2173913043 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.04347826087 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219922303255 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0710778719527 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0490692022922 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139937762717 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0328456288071 0.0645574589148 51% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.