TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.U

Since the dawn of civilization, people have been concern about their children. They have always had ambitious dreams for their children. Parents always think to have a succesful future, it is inevitable for children to have a strong educational background, hence the quality of the education has become a controversial debate amongst people. In this regard, some people wonder educating children is a more difficult task today that it was in the past because they spend so much time on the cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site. Personally speaking, I am in favor of this approach. I assert my viewpoint for two reasons and will illustrate them in the following.
The first aspect to be mentioned is that modern children adore these technologies and it is hard to eliminate these activities from their life. To be more clear, because children enjoy online gaming and their cell phones, they dedicate a lot of time to them. They are somehow addicted to new technologies. On the other hand, they are not willing to spend time on education because they do not find education as enjoyable as playing with their cell phones or likewise. To clarify my point, let me take my nephew as an example, he always wants to play online games and he strongly admits that the games are much more interesting than his lessons, therefore maybe we can blame the lessons and schools which are really boring. They have to try to compete with new technologies in order to gain the students' attention. In contradict to this, former students were interested in educating because it was the only thing that made them happy.
Apart from the point discussed above, these computer games and cell phones have occupied children's mind. In other words, according to the result of a research that studied a group of teenager who is interested in technology, shows that it is harder for these students to focus on their lessons. Their mind is busy with the games illusions and they are not able to clear their mind in order to make room for educational material. To convey my point, let me make an example of myself, when I spend a lot of time on instagram, after that I cannot concentrate on my studies, my mind is struggling with the large amount of information that I achieve by strolling down on Instagram. On the other hand, former students could concentrate better on their education because they were no disturbing technology which could manipulate their mind.
All in all, according to the aforementioned points and examples, I am willing to conclude that modern students are facing more obstacle to achieve efficient educations than the former students due to the advent of technology which provided many hubby and occupation for students. In addition to that, former students found educating process way more interesting than modern students, therefore I believe today's students face more difficulties in the way of educating than former ones.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 539, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: Website
...ne, online games, and social networking Web site. Personally speaking, I am in favor of ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 794, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...h new technologies in order to gain the students attention. In contradict to this, forme...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...other words, according to the result of a research that studied a group of teenager who is...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 241, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun hubby seems to be countable; consider using: 'many hubbies'.
Suggestion: many hubbies
...the advent of technology which provided many hubby and occupation for students. In additio...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, if, likewise, may, really, so, therefore, apart from, in addition, in other words, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2446.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 495.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94141414141 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69549764995 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494949494949 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 772.2 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.7399992726 48.9658058833 140% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.3 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.75 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.7 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275106002054 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0880596592967 0.076458572812 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127185065141 0.0737576698707 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169289889496 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0859388447071 0.0645574589148 133% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 11.7677419355 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 86.8835125448 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.