TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

knowing how to encourage children has always been a very significant matter when it comes to doing something in faced with getting good mark. That is owing to the fact that the children always need to encourage to getting good result since it can grant them the ability to getting better result. There are those who contend that this is a good idea if parents provide money for the school in order to encourage their childs by it. I firmly repudiate this idea as it seems irrational. In what follows, I will attempt to clarify the reasons for my decision more.

To begin with, one of the most imperative reason comes to mind at first is that the effect of this act on other sides of children's lifes. At first glance, no one can deny the profound effect of this behaviour on their future lifes since they always will have to expect to get money for every good happen. It does not seems bad but when they are grown enough, this is impossible in most of the times. The last week when I read a magazine, I faced with a title that mentioned about the social research which has been done recently. Researchers found that the way the parent behave with their childs could have very specific and momentous effect on their behaviour in the future.

Another interesting point which deserves some words here is about the possibility of providing this gift for all the parents. It is conspicuous that childrens are not from the same family in school and so different are their economic conditions and salaries that could not expect that all can provide this gift when their children get the good result. Perhaps a more firsthand experience can shed more light on the matter. Sara, as one of my genius friend, always got the good result. She was the person whom teachers admired the most. but there were other students who were in the second sequence. They were always faced with best gift from their family but parent of Sara could not afford to provide such gift for her.

To wrap it all up, Taking all the aforementioned idea into consideration, I believe that not only has the bad effect of getting money as a gift on other sides of children's life, but also impossibility of buying this gifts for some of the family are two reasons which can consider as repudiation of this statement. So, I highly recommended that parent use other kind of presents as a gift.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Knowing
knowing how to encourage children has always be...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'seem'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: seem
...oney for every good happen. It does not seems bad but when they are grown enough, thi...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'seem'
Suggestion: seem
...oney for every good happen. It does not seems bad but when they are grown enough, thi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 537, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
... person whom teachers admired the most. but there were other students who were in t...
^^^
Line 5, column 623, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'with the best'.
Suggestion: with the best
...second sequence. They were always faced with best gift from their family but parent of Sa...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 722, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ot afford to provide such gift for her. To wrap it all up, Taking all the aforem...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 227, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... impossibility of buying this gifts for some of the family are two reasons which can consid...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, kind of, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1940.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 422.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.5971563981 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35769010574 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 212.727598566 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.478672985782 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 603.0 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.5190114843 48.9658058833 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.105263158 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2105263158 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.94736842105 5.45110844103 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257751176106 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0774866535283 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0602201777749 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16731868351 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0425056936977 0.0645574589148 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.4 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.42 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.