TPO 40 - Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
People show different attitudes towards whether parents should reward their kids with money for academic achievements. While some argue that this method contains a lot of drawbacks, in my opinion, I completely agree with this approach due to its benefits. There are 2 reasons for my view which will be explored in the following essays.
First of all, money bonus is certainly ones of the best driving forces for children. By giving them a small amount of cash for each high grade they get at school, children are able to buy their favourite things like toys, books without asking for their parents´ financial support. This makes them utterly happy and eager to acquire more good marks. My own experience exemplifies this idea. When I was at school, my parents had to work hard thus did not have time to help me learn. Therefore, they then gave me one dollar for any 9 mark and 2 dollars for any 10 mark I got at school as a way to encourage to study better. As the result, I concentrated on my study and was on top of the list in my class. Besides, I had money to buy my favorite comics every week which made me so satisfied.
Secondly, giving your sons and daughters some money for excellent academic results and let them decide what to do with it contributes to development of their financial management skill. Children will learn how to spend their money effectively and efficiently which is absolutely useful for their future life. My father is a compelling example. He learnt to manage his weekly amount of money that my grandparents gave him since he was nine years old. Although the amount was not much, he managed to use it for his personal needs. Those skills also played an importance role on his decision to become an economic student and later a successful financial consultant.
In conclusion, I understand why some fathers and mothers disprove to use money as a reward for their kids´ achievement, but my vote is put on this suggestion because its advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 610, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'studying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: studying
...k I got at school as a way to encourage to study better. As the result, I concentrated o...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, while, in conclusion, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1670.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 350.0 407.700716846 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.77142857143 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70439702435 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.62 0.524837075471 118% => OK
syllable_count: 519.3 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.2761179728 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.7777777778 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4444444444 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.94444444444 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299525333824 0.236089414692 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0812889208842 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674920974453 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162346926345 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0598016202218 0.0645574589148 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.