TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Nowadays, by advance in technology and getting stock in the hectic lifestyle where people put all their efforts to have a convenient life, paying attention to family and friends has become a contentious problem for most of individuals. Parents want to prepare a sought-after life for their children by working longs hours and provide them with numerous facilities to be prosperous in future. In this regard, a controversial question arises which is whether parents should take their time on children's entertainments or school works. As a matter of fact, I believe that parents should fulfill both their children's school works and entertainments requirements. In what follows, I will explore my double-side reasons on this issue.

First off, one should take into account this fact that parents have limited amount of time to check out their children's progress in school which is one of the most important aspects of children's life and it is a means to pave their success. Thus, it is crucial that parents simultaneously evaluate their children's trend and see how much they have changed. For instance, when I was a student in primary school, my parents were so busy to take care of my school works and I failed some of my exams. However, if my father or at least my mother helped me out, I could have done better and become more motivated to try harder to ace the exams. A noteworthy statistics data conducted in our country indicates that the more parents are involved in children's affairs related to school works, the more possibility to find impetus to continue their education and be a prosperous and knowledgeable person in future.

On the other hand, ignoring the needs of being happy and doing entertainment by parents would cause children to be more vulnerable to more social disorders. Since children are alone for most of days or spend time with their friends, they cannot be satisfied by them, so, they need parents' support. The shortage of parents' attention, for example, ignoring the need of playing and watching movie with them, makes the feeling of solitary in them and contributes to inhospitable social behavior. For instance, a child, who always wants his father to play with him, if his father does not pay attention, he will definitely be disappointed and try to fulfill his need in other dangerous ways such as socializing with wrong friends.

To put it briefly, contemplating both sides, one soon realizes that parents should split their free time equally in order to make their children in a right way. Not only should they take their time for their school works, but also they should pay attention to their social pleasure because children have to thrive both mentally and socially. Thus, I recommend that parents take their time in these two issues evenly.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 216, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the individuals') or simply say ''most individuals''.
Suggestion: most of the individuals; most individuals
...ds has become a contentious problem for most of individuals. Parents want to prepare a sought-after...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 382, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...th numerous facilities to be prosperous in future. In this regard, a controversial questi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 895, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...e a prosperous and knowledgeable person in future. On the other hand, ignoring the nee...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 187, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the days') or simply say ''most days''.
Suggestion: most of the days; most days
...disorders. Since children are alone for most of days or spend time with their friends, they ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 146, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a right way" with adverb for "right"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...equally in order to make their children in a right way. Not only should they take their time f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, first, however, if, so, thus, at least, for example, for instance, such as, as a matter of fact, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2323.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 468.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96367521368 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70206733975 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517094017094 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 696.6 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.4458081101 48.9658058833 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.647058824 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5294117647 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.88235294118 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234787492769 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.084219469334 0.076458572812 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0421532058898 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151527491509 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0193434099662 0.0645574589148 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.