TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

There is no doubt that spending time with our kids is very necessary even if the time is for homework or have some fun. If you not let me choice, I will choose to divide the time between the two issue. But in this case, I prefer that if you have little time to spend it with your children, it must be an exciting time. Someone can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each side. The explanations go as follows.

At the beginning, To enhance the connection with your daughter or your some, you should grow a beautiful thinking inside their heads. For example, my husband is working overseas and we may meet together every eight or ten months. In order to that he always thinking to make something special when he returns back. He brings a lot of gifts for me and for the two kids. For instance, I remember that in his last visit, he bring X-Box video game for my son Omar. They played together much more time and Omar laughed all the time, that thing made him happy and a close friend to his father. Also, my husband gave my daughter Malika a big Barrbie toy set, she was dreamed to have one and she hugged her Dad all the time. Finally, they told me that their dad is more kind than me!!.

In addition to that, I think that spend a marvelous time with kids, built a pleasant memories about you inside their brain. For example, My dad was a doctor and he was spending much of his life inside the surgery room. So, it was very rare if we saw him, he might came home when we were sleeping and left before we walking up. In order to satisfied us and substitute the family time, he was used to plan for very exciting things like go to vacations. I remember now a great family vacation to the North Coast. What a beautiful days Such things makes me fall in love with my dad.

From the aforementioned reasons, I see that spending a good time with your kids is the best way you should put into your mind.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 301, Rule ID: RETURN_BACK[1]
Message: Use simply 'returns'.
Suggestion: returns
...nking to make something special when he returns back. He brings a lot of gifts for me and fo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'brings'.
Suggestion: brings
..., I remember that in his last visit, he bring X-Box video game for my son Omar. They ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 86, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'memory'?
Suggestion: memory
...velous time with kids, built a pleasant memories about you inside their brain. For examp...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 392, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[5]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'used to planning'.
Suggestion: used to planning
... and substitute the family time, he was used to plan for very exciting things like go to vac...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 528, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'day'?
Suggestion: day
...on to the North Coast. What a beautiful days Such things makes me fall in love with ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, may, so, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, no doubt

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1544.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 364.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.24175824176 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.17005840564 2.67179642975 81% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.565934065934 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 477.9 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.8757426686 48.9658058833 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.2 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222011337051 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0644767078504 0.076458572812 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0731845188136 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14925905151 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0648739576635 0.0645574589148 100% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.6 11.7677419355 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 78.59 58.1214874552 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.31 10.9000537634 67% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.39 8.01818996416 80% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 86.8835125448 49% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.