TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Nowadays life is very frenetic, and for the majority of families both parents have a full-time job, because of it, they do not have much time to spend with their children. According to it, I believe that it is very important for children to spend time with their parents when it is possible. In my opinion, I think that families have to use their time to play games and sports together.

First, playing a game is as educational as doing homework together with parents. During the working*week children go to school every day and they do their homework before they parents return home, because this is their daily routine. I remember when I was a child, I used to do my homework as soon I finished lunch, in this way I could be free of duties when my dad was back from work. I would do this so we could play or watch a cartoon on TV together before the dinner was ready, it was the best moment of the day. I believe it is the same for most of children, they want to have fun with mum and dad after a day spent at school and doing homework, they are not expecting to do things related to schoolwork.

Second, doing sport is a healthy activity for all the family and is an opportunity to spend time outdoors, parents can relax after a hard workday and children can enjoy having fun with friends that they usually do not meet at school. It is very important to do things completely different from routine, when parents are more relaxed and children are happy, the quality of the time spent together is higher, and this is very important when parents are very busy and have not much time available. I do not think that both parents and children would be happy to spend the weekend at home studying or doing school stuff, it is just boring. I have memories about the summer when I was young; the weekends were the moment that I had been waiting for all week long. It was the time when we could finally go to the beach together, play beach tennis, swim and meet my holiday friends.

In conclusion, based on my childhood, who had both parents working full-time, the best way for parents to spend high-quality time with their children is to do something fun like games and sports together, and something different from their daily basis activities, this is what I always waited for from my parents when I was a child.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 177, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'parent'
Suggestion: parent
... and they do their homework before they parents return home, because this is their dail...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 518, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ady, it was the best moment of the day. I believe it is the same for most of chil...
^
Line 3, column 547, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the children') or simply say ''most children''.
Suggestion: most of the children; most children
...f the day. I believe it is the same for most of children, they want to have fun with mum and dad...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, if, second, so, i think, in conclusion, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 15.1003584229 192% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1894.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 426.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.44600938967 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37617595546 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.424882629108 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.14954374 48.9658058833 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.285714286 100.406767564 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.4285714286 20.6045352989 148% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.92857142857 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.412640664808 0.236089414692 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.167824997722 0.076458572812 219% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0789175907611 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.290538503027 0.150856017488 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.079601075896 0.0645574589148 123% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.95 58.1214874552 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.12 10.9000537634 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.