TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

Being celebrity is extremely difficult nowadays owing to the fact that all eyes are on them. They should control their behavior in front of people because ordinary persons inclined to act like a super-star especially young people. more than a few people believe that celebrities' opinions are more important to youth than the older people. Others, think that celebrities' opinion are important for everyone equally. I am of the opinion, that young people are more influenced by celebrities’ ideas than old people. I will attempt to address the most discernible reasons in the ensuing lines.

One imperative idea coming to mind at first is that young people have more goal-based life than old people. It goes without saying that, a young person which inclined to gain a toehold in his or her future career and also have a promising-future, would tend to act like people who are prosperous in their lives. Consequently, they do their best in order to conduct some behavior analogous to successful people’s behavior. It is obvious that, celebrities are very prosperous people in their fields. Hence, young people want to utilize celebrities' ideas, opinions, gestures, to name but a few. To illustrate my point, let me elaborate upon it by presenting an example. A couple of years ago, my brother, Navid, had immense interest to one of my country's writers, Dr. Ali Shariati. Which he was a prominent and highly respected writer in my country. Besides, he had a plethora of ideas about life. My brother had tendency to read his manuscripts and loved to act just similar to Dr. Shariati because he was an impressive prosperous man.

Juvenile's more emotion than olds is the second interesting point which deserves some words here. It goes without saying that, young people have more emotions than the old people owing to their hormones. Therefore, they are more influenced by people's behavior, gestures and thoughts as well, than old persons. As an example, if a celebrity has the opinion, that a certain clothing is appropriate for some events or parties, even s/he is wrong, youth would like to imitate and wear the same custom. For instance, I have a twenty-year-old cousin. He loves one of the American singer named Enrique Iglesias, Thus, every time he saw one of his video-clips which Enrique wore a certain cloth, he would like to wear the same, even it was so inappropriate. Thereby, no one could underestimate the profound effect of young’s large emotions regarding being impressed by celebrities.

In conclusion, considering the two reasons that I gave, celebrities' opinions are more important to youth than old people not only because of the young people’s purposeful life but also their large emotions.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 232, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: More
...e a super-star especially young people. more than a few people believe that celebrit...
^^^^
Line 1, column 359, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...an the older people. Others, think that celebrities opinion are important for everyone equa...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 213, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ful life but also their large emotions.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, first, hence, if, regarding, second, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2288.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 449.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09576837416 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90423504174 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527839643653 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 725.4 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1663470206 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.3333333333 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7083333333 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.20833333333 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162303561372 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0552241056634 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0658899627452 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127750312071 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0570488507262 0.0645574589148 88% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 86.8835125448 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.