TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

In today's societies, the question of whether the young people are influenced more by the opinoin of celebrities than their old people has become a controversial issue among people in many circles and camps. Different people have various types of responses to this topic based on their cultural, social, or even familial backgrounds. However, as far as I'm concerned, I believe that famous people have a strong effect on juvenile for some reasons that I elaborate them in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, the first thing immediately comes to mind is that prominent people are usually the hero of young people. In fact, juvenile always follow them in diverse subject such as dress styles, viewpoint, etc. Accordingly, young people try to be similar to their popular celebrities as much as possible. Therefore, whenever this celebrities have an opinion about anythings, teenagers accept their point of view more easily than the other people's viewpoints. Let's make a brief explanation about that. Based on the experiment that was implemented in Tehran, Scientists found out that most of the people in a range of 15 to 25 have a tendency to choose their heroes from celebrities.

Another noteworthy things that should be mentioned is that most of the time older people and young people have a differnt style of thinking. In the other words, perspective of these people are completely various from each others. So, they can't get the common opinion about the same situation. As a result, in long term, the juvenile haven't paid attention to the older people's opinions. let me shed a light on my point. For example, most of the juvenile wants to experience excitment and they are more riskable person. althogh most of the old people prefer to chose the safer solution with a low rate of risk. In this situation, teenagers try to find another source to follow their opinioin and the famus people are good choice because most of them are riskable person.

In conclusion, there are a plenty of reason to show that young people are noticeably affected by prominent people's opinion. Not only juvenile try to follow each behavior of celebrities but also famous people are more riskable person than older people. Thus, It is obvious that teenagers flow view point of famus people instead of older one.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 22, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
In todays societies, the question of whether the young people are influenced more by...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 353, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...amilial backgrounds. However, as far as Im concerned, I believe that famous people...
^^
Line 3, column 329, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...s much as possible. Therefore, whenever this celebrities have an opinion about anyth...
^^^^
Line 3, column 463, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...sily than the other peoples viewpoints. Lets make a brief explanation about that. Ba...
^^^^
Line 5, column 240, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...tely various from each others. So, they cant get the common opinion about the same s...
^^^^
Line 5, column 334, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...As a result, in long term, the juvenile havent paid attention to the older peoples opi...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 387, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Let
...ttention to the older peoples opinions. let me shed a light on my point. For exampl...
^^^
Line 5, column 519, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Althogh
...ment and they are more riskable person. althogh most of the old people prefer to chose ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 342, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t of famus people instead of older one.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, however, if, so, therefore, thus, for example, in conclusion, in fact, such as, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1918.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 385.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98181818182 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4296068528 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61268749413 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535064935065 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 600.3 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.6147624091 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.9 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.25 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.85 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200315794546 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643313409389 0.076458572812 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0427657958888 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143765893123 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0378707750162 0.0645574589148 59% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.