TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

People in the modern world are seen to be more and more influenced by the lifestyle of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes and they too crave for such a lavish life as shown in the media. But, it is also true that not only the lifestyle of these celebrities are found to be influential in other people's life but also their opinions. Moreover, I think that the opinions of famous entertainers and athletes are more important for the young people to grow up well than they are to the older folks. I would like to throw some light on regarding my opinion in the following passages and discuss the importance of these celebs in young people's life.

At the very outset, let us discuss how everything done by famous entertainers and other celebrities influence people of tender age. First of all, these celebrities are imitated by the young people and they try to achieve the same level of success as the celebrities. The young generation is usually motivated by the opinions held by their ideal celebrities and they put effort to stick to these opinions. Thus, a good and outstanding opinion of the celebrities may be of perfect help in molding a young person's future or career. For example, a young boy who is the fan of an entertainer, may become interested in developing a career on entertainment without even thinking of the ins and outs of his decision. He may adamantly pursue that career without noticing the failures he may have to face. But, if the entertainer advises in general to all the young people that choosing a career entirely based on someone else's influence without paying attention to what he/she may actually be good at, may hurt them in the long run. This particular opinion of the entertainer can save young people from ruining their career and open up their eyes.

Usually it is seen that as people get older and attain a certain height of experience in their lives, they are less likely to be interested in anything related to the celebrities of the world. On the other hand, young people spend most of their time doing things getting motivated by the famous celebrities. This may be due to fact that the entertainers or other celebrities are presented in the media in a very alluring way. People in their young age are naturally attracted towards things that have a good presentation. So, anything said or done by these eye catching celebrities motivates the the young people. For example, most of the ad campaigns appoints celebrities to get the attention of the young generation because they know that the impact celebs have on young people is immense. Thus, celebrities should always pass on comments and opinions which may have a positive or optimistic effect on the young generation. The way of living and way of thinking of famous celebrities are, i fact, capable of shaping up the young generation to be good and reliable citizens.

Hence, it can be concluded that, the effect of opinions of celebrities on young people is enormous and these opinions or point of views of celebrities have little effect on the older people in contrast to that of the younger ones.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 289, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...e doing things getting motivated by the famous celebrities. This may be due to fact that the enter...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 593, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...hese eye catching celebrities motivates the the young people. For example, most of the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 593, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...hese eye catching celebrities motivates the the young people. For example, most of the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 968, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...he way of living and way of thinking of famous celebrities are, i fact, capable of shaping up the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, thus, well, for example, i think, in contrast, in general, such as, first of all, in contrast to, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 52.1666666667 165% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2579.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 540.0 407.700716846 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77592592593 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82057051367 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69575887501 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433333333333 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 819.0 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 40.6101983326 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.80952381 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7142857143 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.7619047619 5.45110844103 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172729294019 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0653350028525 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0572869667993 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130128954869 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0548835812995 0.0645574589148 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 11.7677419355 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.