Celebrities play a significant role in all societies. The famous people can influence different aspects of a society including cultural, political and economic perspectives of people. Some people hold the opinion that younger people are obviously more influenced by the elites than older people are, while, others disagree. Personally, I am inclined to believe that the former perspective is far superior than the latter one for some specific reasons of mine which I would elaborate them in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, young people tend to highly follow celebrities comparing with older individuals who are not interested in them. As a young person, it is more probable for you to involve in social media such as the Instagram, Twitter or Facebook where the celebrities nowadays prefer to take actions to influence their countless followers who are mostly in their twenties or thirties. Therefore, inevitably you as a follower will be affected by their thoughts, beliefs and even details of their own lives which they share with you in the form of the frequently posts and attract your attentions. However, your parents who just spend some time in front of TV may not even recognize either the name or face of the celebrities. For example, I have a 14-year-old nephew who knows almost all biographies of Hollywood celebrities and whenever there is a new post on a page of a celebrity such as Jennifer Lopez, he would talk about it for some days. As you can see, youngsters are more affected by famous people.
There is a furthermore subtle point which we should take into consideration, older people have they own strict beliefs and minds. I believe that they have already experienced a lot in their lives which has firmly shaped their thoughts and beliefs. As a result, it is unlikely that they change their mind by someone's influences either a celebrity or a usual individual. For example, my father who is in his sixties always thinks that celebrities are just doing some activities to get fame and money. Consequently, he sticks to his rules and thoughts and he would not display any reaction to them. On contrary, I would get readily influenced because I am more emotional and flexible than my parents. This is why I hold the opinion that celebrities have a great impact on youngsters.
In conclusion, whether highly following them or having flexible thoughts, I strongly believe that youngster can be influenced easily by the celebrities. Additionally, we, youngsters, should take it into account that sometimes celebrities may be not a good source of knowledge and information.
- TOEFL TPO 46 - Integrated Writing Task 90
- As early as the twelfth century A.D., the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico in the American Southwest were notable for their "great houses," massive stone buildings that contain hundreds of rooms and often stand three or four stories high. Archaeo 3
- Toward the end of his life, the Chevalier de Seingalt (1725-1798) wrote a long memoir recounting his life and adventures. The Chevalier was a somewhat controversial figure, but since he met many famous people, including kings and writers, his memoir has b 80
- TPO 49 - Integrated writing 85
- TPO 37 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 406, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
... the former perspective is far superior than the latter one for some specific reason...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, while, for example, in conclusion, such as, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2173.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 431.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04176334107 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89481814881 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522041763341 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 680.4 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.6808492081 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.368421053 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6842105263 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.84210526316 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189146394845 0.236089414692 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0595731301155 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.05512651963 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113778782149 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0646690674306 0.0645574589148 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.