TPO-5 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

Today, every individual in society has his/her own job, responsibilities or duty. Students have to study and pass their exam, parents have to work to earn money and gives their children a better future. Some people pleased about their Works and maintain their work, but the others are very uncomfortable about that situation. Therefore, there is no shortage of debate about people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than works they should do. In my opinion people spend much more time doing things they should do. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, actually, no one want to work in boring company and everyday wake up early but they do not have another oppurtunity. Because we humankind have so many requirements such as food, home, clothes so forth. And to afford for this requirement we have to take salary. For example, when I was in university I was very struggling with my budget because I had to pay amount of money for transportation, book, food or fees to attend some communities. Therefore I had to work even I had very rough classes such as micro economics, macro economics, international trade. Then I applied a job and got it and I worked there for two years. It was very hard and unbearable conditions because I had no time to rest or go beside my family.But one thing that I certainly know I had to work. To sum up, as long as we have desire to obtain something we need money and as long as we need money we must spend our time with thing that we should do.
Secondly, after a while we get use to work because we feel this as a part of our life and do not find strange. Because nearly after six years old we always have duty such as scholl, work and when it changes immediately we shock. For example when I was in university I was very struggling with my macro economic class, especially, with relationship between interest rate and investmet. There was so many combinations and correlation among them and I was feeling I would never understand all details of this topic. Then I studied for a long time almost five weeks then I participated exam and passed it with very high point. One day after exam I was feeling very uncomfortable because I did not have any duty or responsibilities. I felt as if it had fallen into a void. Accordingly, sometimes we get use to for monoton life and do not find it strange
In conclusion, I strogly belive that in this system we will never give up working to continue our life event we want or not. Sometimes it looks like very normal thing and part of life and sometimes we get bored but maintain to work

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 429, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than works they should do. In my ...
^^
Line 2, column 454, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ood or fees to attend some communities. Therefore I had to work even I had very rough cla...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 733, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
... no time to rest or go beside my family.But one thing that I certainly know I had t...
^^^
Line 2, column 790, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t I certainly know I had to work. To sum up, as long as we have desire to obtain ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, actually, but, first, if, look, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, while, for example, i feel, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 13.8261648746 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2162.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 481.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.4948024948 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68313059816 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66103820032 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496881496881 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 706.5 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.5423931283 48.9658058833 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.0 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9130434783 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.08695652174 5.45110844103 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200933630313 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0708289484255 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13594561069 0.0737576698707 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137169586747 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114837455916 0.0645574589148 178% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.76 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.