TPO46 independent
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
becoming famous and well-known person is one of the most critical concerns of the young people. Needless to say that all of the teenagers want to participate in celebrities such as famous person entertainers various time in their life. some people may find its crucial for entire of their life as their old time whereas others would take the reverse. Even though some may think older people could love to participate in various celebrities as the young men since they are in love with some charactristic well-known people. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that only for young people are important to become in such entertainers. The following reasons are going to substantiate my stand-points.
The first fact that holds me this concept is that grown up people don't have enough time for this entertainers. it can be illustrated that every years human grow up, he will have more issues and social problems to attention. In fact, the best time to go for your interest is younger age. For example, when I was persuading my family business at the bakery equipment distribution company a few years ago, I went to any celebrities in my home town since I love to kill time with my close friends and be so happy in initiate years of my career. After a year, I showed less interest to participate in some program since I had lots of job and work to do and have critical goal for my career life. so, it can be seen this opportunities could happen in my adult time if I have sufficient time to take care about my personal interest.
Another reason is that people mostly have action life in their young ages; hence, need positive impact of this celebrities in order to improve their energy. I read several article at Iranian society journal about various impact of external activities which increase your positive energy about three months ago. The analyze the various impact of external beneficial activity which people needs; hence, they assume that these requirements change the more the people grow up. On of the articles estimates that about 80 percent of people whom participate in party or dancing entertainment are lower than 30. I can remember my personal experience when I was studying power electronic at Sharif university about nine years ago. I had friends who encourage me to come their party and we have lots of great moment at that time; so, in order to increase our action aspect of life we do lot of things which are not my interest anymore. Today, I had my college friends and perfect relationship with them but we don't go to such party since our goal change. Therefore, it seems reasonable to assume from this exprience that only younger people are interest more to go such activity.
In conclusion, though some may oppose the concept, people only spend their young ages to see famous athletes or actors. Not only they don't have sufficient time in adult time, but also their interest change as ages.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Becoming
becoming famous and well-known person is one of ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 118, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... the young people. Needless to say that all of the teenagers want to participate in celebr...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 237, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...ntertainers various time in their life. some people may find its crucial for entire ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 68, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...me this concept is that grown up people dont have enough time for this entertainers....
^^^^
Line 3, column 94, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...own up people dont have enough time for this entertainers. it can be illustrated tha...
^^^^
Line 3, column 113, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...have enough time for this entertainers. it can be illustrated that every years hum...
^^
Line 3, column 623, Rule ID: LOTS_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun job seems to be countable; consider using: 'lots of jobs'.
Suggestion: lots of jobs
...participate in some program since I had lots of job and work to do and have critical goal f...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 693, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
... have critical goal for my career life. so, it can be seen this opportunities coul...
^^
Line 3, column 712, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... for my career life. so, it can be seen this opportunities could happen in my adult ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 108, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ng ages; hence, need positive impact of this celebrities in order to improve their e...
^^^^
Line 5, column 166, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun article seems to be countable; consider using: 'several articles'.
Suggestion: several articles
...n order to improve their energy. I read several article at Iranian society journal about variou...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 313, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...positive energy about three months ago. The analyze the various impact of external benefici...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1002, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...d perfect relationship with them but we dont go to such party since our goal change....
^^^^
Line 7, column 136, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...amous athletes or actors. Not only they dont have sufficient time in adult time, but...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, nevertheless, so, therefore, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2408.0 1977.66487455 122% => OK
No of words: 504.0 407.700716846 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77777777778 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60187295056 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490079365079 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 779.4 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.7911226684 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.454545455 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9090909091 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.54545454545 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.128807987845 0.236089414692 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0471180122771 0.076458572812 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0404131779655 0.0737576698707 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0852106787912 0.150856017488 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0502677956237 0.0645574589148 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.