What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

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What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Sometimes single changes may bring a lot of benefits to a certain places, in terms of tourism, business, education and so on. Although i lived in a rapidly growing city in my country, in terms of business and trade that attracts many businessmen here. But still many youths from my home town are migrating out different places for their higher education .that means we need a recognized university with different program of study in our home town, in order to make it appealing for the people of my age. The benefits of this change are as follows.

youth are the most active group of people in the society and education is the part of their personal development. If there is educated youth in your society then development work will be easier. For instance, educated people can solve the problem in a comprehensive way by thinking out for the environmental protection, they are updated with the new technology and its bad side and good side that really has a great importance in solving a problem of society in a creative way.

first, opening university in hometown saves extra money because many of the students move from their hometown to another places for better education and opportunity. That means we have to pay another extra rental charge for him. So opening university in our own place allow the student to live in their own home and they share the living cost so there will not be extra economic burden for the family. So students will not go out in other places to study.

second, it creates employment opportunity for many students. Because university needs large number of educated human resources so a capable and deserving students gets an opportunity at the university to work as a researcher, lecturer, administrator etc. so if they get good opportunity and well paid job in home town then why do they go out? Another benefit here is they will be with their family. Being with own family keeps the people to feel safe and sound.that is the another appealing things which everyone wants.

Thus, I ask for the opening of a university in my hometown not only because of the above reason but also that will prevent another generation as well to migrate for higher education in new place.

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Average: 7 (10 votes)
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to a certain places,
to a certain place,

to another places
to another place
to other places

So opening university in our own place allow the student to live in their own home
So opening university in our own place allows the students to live in their own home

Another benefit here is they will be with their family.
Another benefit here is that they will be with their family.

not only because of the above reason but also that will prevent another generation as well to migrate for higher education in new place.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1786 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.663 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.574 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.759 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5