You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use pecific reasons and details to explain your choice.

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You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use pecific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Our community is one of the most important places for us. It is where we grew up and had the best memories. Our community is not a perfect place because it faces a lot of problems. However, if I can do something to help my community improves; I would like to carry on ''Health fears''. In the next paragraphs, I will explain why.

First of all, by doing health fairs, I might help people prevent diseases. As we know, "foresight'' is the key to save people' lives. Unlike, many scientists thought in the past, it has been shown that many illnesses can be prevented by talking with people. For instance, diseases such as diabetes, heart diseases and even cancer might be avoided if the patient exercise and eat healthy. Thus, by doing health fairs, I might help create conscience regarding those diseases in people. Furthermore, the government would also benefit because it might save money due to the fact that less people will require medical attention.

Moreover, health fairs might encourage people to volunteer and go to medical school. According to the local newspaper, the population in our country is growing up really fast. Therefore, more medical professionals will be needed in the future, so, if teenagers who are thinking about their future careers help me organize the health fair, they might consider to be doctors, and also they might help the community in the future. An example of that is my sister. She was a volunteer with the Red Cross in my community when she was in high school. Because of that, she studied for nurse and actually, she returned and is helping in the local hospital.

Even more, by doing health fairs, I would help reduce delinquency because psychologists and social workers might also participate and provide orientations to young adults about moral affairs. Thus, they might keep focus in good things.

To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I think that the best way that I might help my community is by doing health fears because in this way I would help people prevent diseases, encourage teenagers to go to medical school, and reduce delinquency.

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Average: 8.5 (2 votes)
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to help my community improves
to help my community improve

if the patient exercise and eat healthy.
if the patients exercise and eat healthy.

and go to medical school.
and go to medical schools.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1673 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.66 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.476 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.151 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5