Your school has received a gift of money. What is the best way for your school to spend this money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The subjects that schools give an importance can change from school to school. To illustrate, sports can be significant for some schools while science is significant for others. Moreover, according to their preference, schools spend money in order to improve conditions of chosen subject. If my school had received a gift of money, the best way for my school to spend this money would have been to support sport activities. I feel this way because of two fundamental reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
The first reason is that sport activities affects success of students in a positive way. Students have a very busy course schedule because of intense education curriculum. Furthermore, this schedule leads students to be tired in following school hours; thus, they cannot focus on their lessons and understand them effectively. As a result, this has a negative effect on their school success. If schools add sport activities in the schedule, it will revitalize minds of students since many researches emphasize that focusing on something other than current situation rests the mind. To put in a nut shell, students can focus on their classes and understand their lessons much more effectively. Therefore, their grades or school success increases.
The second reason is that sport activities make people much healthier. School-age children are in the process of development; besides, many things such as food choices and doing some activities have a great influence on their body development. Also, sporting activities in school have a significant impact on this development. For example, doing sport reduces the risk of heart attack in later ages by strengthening the heart muscles. Thus, students or teen generations become psychologically healthy. As a result, children are our future and, they contribute more to humanity when they are much healthier.
To sum up, both having a positive impact on students’ education and their health are my two main reasons why I think that supporting sport activities is the best way for my school to spend money which school has received as a gift.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 281, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to subject'
Suggestion: to subject
...n order to improve conditions of chosen subject. If my school had received a gift of mo...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 71, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... activities affects success of students in a positive way. Students have a very busy course sched...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, furthermore, if, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, thus, while, for example, i feel, i think, such as, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1783.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 341.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22873900293 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87265817912 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524926686217 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 531.0 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.4412177231 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.8421052632 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9473684211 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.26315789474 5.45110844103 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271545391047 0.236089414692 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0916492395735 0.076458572812 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0986172037214 0.0737576698707 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20146031247 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126505672523 0.0645574589148 196% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.