Essay topics: TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task
Advantages of usage of electronic medical record systems over traditional paper-based record keeping are discussed in the passage and in the audio file. The writer gives us some evidence to support his prospect on the issue; at the same time the lecturer casts doubts on it. Both viewpoints will be discussed below in details.
Firstly, from the text we learn that implementation of electronic databases will dramatically reduce costs of storing, transferring and duplicating medical records. The speaker disagrees with the stance and partly debunks it. She claims that majority of doctors keep storing their paper-based data even after they adopted electronic databases. The doctors do it in order to have a spare copy with patients' signatures in case of legal issues. Additionally to it, those papers may be useful in case something bad happens with the electronic databases.
Secondly, the writer avers that usage of the electronic record system will significantly reduce the chances of medical errors which often are caused by bad handwriting. However, the lecturer states that because doctors keep using a pen and paper during medical examination all records initially made by hand and therefore may be illegible. Moreover, the medical records which were made by a doctor are usually inserted in the bases by hospital's stuff and they may misread doctor's handwriting or incorrectly write the data in the base as well.
Finally, it is believed that electronic databases will help medical research by giving access to a vast volume of patients' records but the speaker completely opposes this idea because all medical records are under protection of strict privacy law. As a result, researchers will have to ask permission to use patients' data personally. Furthermore, any patient may refuse giving his personal information or even block any use of it at all except for his own treatment.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
She claims that majority of doctors
She claims that a majority of doctors
She claims that the majority of doctors
will have to ask permission to use patients' data
will have to ask permissions to use patients' data
flaws:
No. of Words: 303 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 02
No. of Sentences: 14 12
No. of Words: 303 250
No. of Characters: 1562 1200
No. of Different Words: 173 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.172 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.155 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.775 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.643 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.295 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 443, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...nts signatures in case of legal issues. Additionally to it, those papers may be useful in ca...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, except for, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 5.04856512141 178% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 12.0772626932 58% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 22.412803532 98% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 30.3222958057 145% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 5.01324503311 120% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1598.0 1373.03311258 116% => OK
No of words: 303.0 270.72406181 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27392739274 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82333927278 2.5805825403 109% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 145.348785872 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.580858085809 0.540411800872 107% => OK
syllable_count: 519.3 419.366225166 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.3684454766 49.2860985944 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.142857143 110.228320801 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6428571429 21.698381199 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.5 7.06452816374 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.27373068433 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.501376110898 0.272083759551 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156721183853 0.0996497079465 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118358506042 0.0662205650399 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.291588971864 0.162205337803 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0412991379762 0.0443174109184 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 13.3589403974 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 53.8541721854 77% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.0289183223 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.2367328918 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.11 8.42419426049 108% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 63.6247240618 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.7273730684 98% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.