TOEFL TPO 42 - Integrated Writing Task
First of all, the reading passage indicates that people can use one_way glass that from the other side it just resembles a mirror instead of glass; in contrast, the lecturer opposes this view by mentioning that one-way glass as the same as the mirror work; therefore, birds do not understand about a mirror. If this glass reflex sky or tree, the birds may try to flay to them; hence, they are harmed.
Secondly, the reading argues that people can use some line or colourful glass for building; conversely, what the lecturer believes is different. He points that use some line for the glass does not cover all of the surfaces, and, from a bird's point of view, these spaces are holes through which they can fly. Also use colourful glass is inefficiency, because the buildings are becoming dark.
finally, according to the reading, use the magnetic field around the building can guide birds to find navigation; therefore, they can not crash with the building. However, the lecturer believes that the birds use earth magnetic field to find navigation for long distance. For example, when birds want to migrate from a cold place to a warm place, they must use a magnetic field to find their ways. In contrast, in the city and short distance, birds use their eyes, sunlight, and bright to find their ways. Hence, this solution is not effective.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 204, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... some line for the glass does not cover all of the surfaces, and, from a birds point of vi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 309, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...s are holes through which they can fly. Also use colourful glass is inefficiency, be...
^^^^
Line 5, column 314, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
... holes through which they can fly. Also use colourful glass is inefficiency, becaus...
^^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Finally
...e buildings are becoming dark. finally, according to the reading, use the magn...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, conversely, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, in contrast, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 7.30242825607 55% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 12.0772626932 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 22.412803532 89% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 30.3222958057 79% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1124.0 1373.03311258 82% => OK
No of words: 231.0 270.72406181 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8658008658 5.08290768461 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.89854898053 4.04702891845 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39100592916 2.5805825403 93% => OK
Unique words: 127.0 145.348785872 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.549783549784 0.540411800872 102% => OK
syllable_count: 328.5 419.366225166 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 3.25607064018 184% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.23620309051 61% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 13.0662251656 77% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 21.2450331126 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.3740447831 49.2860985944 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.4 110.228320801 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1 21.698381199 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.0 7.06452816374 184% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.09492273731 73% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.27373068433 94% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.398640032324 0.272083759551 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.158086319693 0.0996497079465 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0580698281393 0.0662205650399 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.263959140992 0.162205337803 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0260623366302 0.0443174109184 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 13.3589403974 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 53.8541721854 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.0289183223 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.2367328918 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.42419426049 90% => OK
difficult_words: 41.0 63.6247240618 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.7273730684 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.498013245 107% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.