TPO-30 - Integrated Writing Task A little over 2,200 years ago, the Roman navy attacked the Greek port city of Syracuse. According to some ancient historians, the Greeks defended themselves with an ingenious weapon called a "burning mirror": a polished co

Reading discusses about whether the theory of burning mirror that is polished copper which can be
shaped to refelct sun rays and to cause fire. While professor thinks that reasons set forth in reading are
unconvincing. The reaons afor professor' opinion are elaborated as follows:

First, reading points out that ancient Greeks were not very intelligent to figure out
the method to focus sunlight and cause fire. In addition, large copper sheets were
not available at that time. The professor casts doubt on statment made in lecture.
She says that large copper sheet was not created from single sheet, but
dozens of small sheets might have arranged in parabolic shape. She also points
out that Greeks were clever to perform that fine task.

Second, reading argues that in order to cause fire, Roman ship had to be static
and required ten minutes to burn wooden ship. Furthermore, it states that this burning
weapon use is impractical. However, progressor challenges this point. She thinks that
burning mirror can create fire quickly due to water proof material called pinch sprayed
on the wooden ship. In addition, she points that all these procedures can happen with moving ship.
As a result, burning mirror was served as efficient weapon.

Thirdly, reading states there was no valid reason for Greeks to make burning mirror because Greeks were
expert in shooing burning arrow to destroy enemies from far distance. In contrast, professor thinks that
attacking soldiers can easily spot burning arrows, so they are not efficient in defense. Furthermore, she adds
that burning mirror canot be seen by human, thus can set on fire wihout
even noticing. Thus, professor successfully challenged statements made in reading.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ror that is polished copper which can be shaped to refelct sun rays and to cause ...
^^^
Line 2, column 47, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... to refelct sun rays and to cause fire. While professor thinks that reasons set forth...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 86, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... were not very intelligent to figure out the method to focus sunlight and cause f...
^^^
Line 12, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... cause fire, Roman ship had to be static and required ten minutes to burn wooden ...
^^^
Line 13, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Furthermore, it states that this burning weapon use is impractical. However, prog...
^^^
Line 15, column 47, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: waterproof
...g mirror can create fire quickly due to water proof material called pinch sprayed on the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ater proof material called pinch sprayed on the wooden ship. In addition, she poi...
^^^
Line 18, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mirror was served as efficient weapon. Thirdly, reading states there was no val...
^^^
Line 20, column 105, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ance. In contrast, professor thinks that attacking soldiers can easily spot burni...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, second, so, third, thirdly, thus, while, in addition, in contrast, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 10.4613686534 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 5.04856512141 119% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 7.30242825607 55% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 22.412803532 103% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 30.3222958057 115% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1478.0 1373.03311258 108% => OK
No of words: 279.0 270.72406181 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29749103943 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08696624509 4.04702891845 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36730143471 2.5805825403 92% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 145.348785872 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.605734767025 0.540411800872 112% => OK
syllable_count: 424.8 419.366225166 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 3.25607064018 215% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 8.23620309051 36% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 13.0662251656 130% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.6346898599 49.2860985944 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.9411764706 110.228320801 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4117647059 21.698381199 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.94117647059 7.06452816374 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 20.0 4.09492273731 488% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 4.19205298013 215% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 4.45695364238 224% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.367907451232 0.272083759551 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108301486078 0.0996497079465 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.079712239304 0.0662205650399 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105416548751 0.162205337803 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0688021155321 0.0443174109184 155% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 13.3589403974 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 53.8541721854 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.0289183223 76% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.16 12.2367328918 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.42419426049 98% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 63.6247240618 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.7273730684 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.