TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The lecturer talks about disadvantages of electronic databases medical records. He suggest that electronic record devices not very helpful as present in reading passage. He presents the counter argument against article points.
First of all, the author emphasizes that electronic databases system save money of storage, transferring data, fixation and copying. In fact, it can easily accessible. This point is challenged by lecturer. He mentions that electronic databases cannot reduce cost of any storage and transferring data. Doctor and staff must be requiring keep paper record for back up or emergency and signature record for legal procedures. So, it requires storage facilities.
Secondly, the article indicates that prevention of error by electronic databases because traditional paper work is handwritten and non standard practice which causes negative effect on patient health. But computer system eliminates such kinds of error. The lecturer, in contrast, explains that computer does not help to avert the error since patient data collect by traditional method such as staff and doctor uses pen and paper. Staff enters the traditional data in to computer devices. Poor hand writing causes staff cannot understand exact data and error might be occurring.
Finally, the reading passage states that electronic databases easily accessible for medical research. The lecturer rebuts this point. He points out that the electronic data cannot easily use by medical research because it keep under strict private law in America. If a person who wants to collect data, then he needs to follow strict and complex procedure. The patient permission also require for collecting data. Many times patient block record for many purposes.

Votes
Average: 8.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'suggests'.
Suggestion: suggests
...lectronic databases medical records. He suggest that electronic record devices not very...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 53, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'databases'' or 'database's'?
Suggestion: databases'; database's
..., the author emphasizes that electronic databases system save money of storage, transferr...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 222, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'keeps'?
Suggestion: keeps
...sily use by medical research because it keep under strict private law in America. If...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, second, secondly, so, then, in contrast, in fact, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 10.4613686534 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 5.04856512141 119% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 7.30242825607 151% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 22.412803532 76% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 30.3222958057 86% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1472.0 1373.03311258 107% => OK
No of words: 264.0 270.72406181 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.57575757576 5.08290768461 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03089032464 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66817278404 2.5805825403 103% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 145.348785872 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.602272727273 0.540411800872 111% => OK
syllable_count: 462.6 419.366225166 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.55342163355 116% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 3.25607064018 215% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 13.0662251656 153% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 21.2450331126 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.0949021042 49.2860985944 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.6 110.228320801 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.2 21.698381199 61% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.1 7.06452816374 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 4.45695364238 247% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.432722205814 0.272083759551 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109761104585 0.0996497079465 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0809003875177 0.0662205650399 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.251207431611 0.162205337803 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0515223633822 0.0443174109184 116% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 13.3589403974 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 41.36 53.8541721854 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.0289183223 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.2 12.2367328918 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.42419426049 107% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 63.6247240618 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.7273730684 56% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.498013245 69% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.