TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

Medical information of patients traditionally has been recorded on papers. Storing medical information in electronic database is another possible method. The reading passage indicates some advantages of using electronic medical records instead of paper records. The lecturer, nonetheless, throws doubt on all advantages presented in the reading passage and refute them all.
First, the author argues that using electronic databases reduces cost in storing and transferring medical records. Because paper records require significant amount of storage space. Conversely, the lecturer claims that doctors don't throw the papers out for legal issues and doctors need paper records in emergency cases.
Futhermore, the reading passage highlights that using electronic records prevents medical errors. illegible handwriting and nonstandard organization of paper records have caused errors in some cases and using electronic records decreases these problems. The speaker, on the contary, thinks that most doctors still use pen and paper during examination and office staffs write the data on computer. Hence, medical errors still remain.
Finally, the author brings up the idea that using electronic records help aiding researches. Because gathering and processing large amount of paper records is impossible for researchers. In contrast, the professor claims that it is too difficult to access patients' records. Because there are strict privacy laws and it is hard to follow permission from patients. Some patients blocked their medical information in the hospital.

Votes
Average: 8.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e reading passage and refute them all. First, the author argues that using elec...
^^
Line 2, column 117, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...oring and transferring medical records. Because paper records require significant amoun...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 229, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...rsely, the lecturer claims that doctors dont throw the papers out for legal issues a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...need paper records in emergency cases. Futhermore, the reading passage highligh...
^^
Line 3, column 100, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Illegible
...tronic records prevents medical errors. illegible handwriting and nonstandard organizatio...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 388, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion and office staffs write the data on computer. Hence, medical errors still re...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r. Hence, medical errors still remain. Finally, the author brings up the idea t...
^^
Line 4, column 77, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to aid' or 'aid'.
Suggestion: to aid; aid
...idea that using electronic records help aiding researches. Because gathering and proce...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
conversely, finally, first, hence, if, nonetheless, so, still, in contrast, in some cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 5.04856512141 20% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 12.0772626932 50% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 22.412803532 49% => OK
Preposition: 23.0 30.3222958057 76% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1336.0 1373.03311258 97% => OK
No of words: 226.0 270.72406181 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.91150442478 5.08290768461 116% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.87727950738 4.04702891845 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72728661029 2.5805825403 106% => OK
Unique words: 130.0 145.348785872 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.575221238938 0.540411800872 106% => OK
syllable_count: 411.3 419.366225166 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.55342163355 116% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 13.0662251656 122% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 21.2450331126 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.378279144 49.2860985944 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.5 110.228320801 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.125 21.698381199 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5625 7.06452816374 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 4.19205298013 191% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 4.45695364238 179% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.27373068433 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.633750312513 0.272083759551 233% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.212126801773 0.0996497079465 213% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115902285642 0.0662205650399 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.400756180046 0.162205337803 247% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.032515488957 0.0443174109184 73% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 13.3589403974 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.34 53.8541721854 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.0289183223 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.41 12.2367328918 134% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.29 8.42419426049 110% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 63.6247240618 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.7273730684 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.498013245 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 88.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.