Some people believe that computer revolution has been only beneficial to society. Others say that there are also drawbacks. Which of thesr two positions you agree with and why ?

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Some people believe that computer revolution has been only beneficial to society. Others say that there are also drawbacks. Which of thesr two positions you agree with and why ?

Without a doubt, the revolution in the computer technology has marked a significant effect on the society. However, this effect can not be depicted as being positive at all times. Therefore, I believe that the sudden evolution in the computer technology and the innovation of the internet in particular have also affected the society negatively.

First of all, abduction through the various social networks is one of the major drawbacks that computers have promoted us with. Children sexual predetors usually use the internet as a way to abduct their victims. Unfortunately, we hear so many stories...

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Sentence: Children sexual predetors usually use the internet as a way to abduct their victims.
Error: predetors Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: For example; last week , I heared a story about a 14 year old girl, who was communicating for several months on facebook with someone she doesn't personally know, until eventually they set a date to meet, and the tragedy occured, when this man turned out to be a child molester, he abducted the girl, raped her and threw her mangled body away in a remote place.
Error: heared Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Such awful stories are so much common these days, especielly with increase potential of communicating with strangers through the social networks.
Error: especielly Suggestion: especially

Sentence: People can spend several hours on the computer; playing games, watching movies, readining articles, and time would be passing, without them realising the urgent and the importance for a virtual social life.
Error: realising Suggestion: realizing
Error: readining Suggestion: reading

Sentence: In conclusion, despite all the advantages that computer revolution has offered, it definitely has affected the society dramaticly.
Error: dramaticly Suggestion: dramatically

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 27 in 30
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
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No. of Characters: 2362 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.661 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.004 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.74 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.476 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.079 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5